feeling blue - NC for 5 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
feeling blue - NC for 5 weeks
15
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 12:56pm
Hello everyone, I am new here but have been reading the boards. I was having an 'A' with MM for almost 2 years. It was a physical relationship, and we emailed each other daily basis to keep in touch. About a year ago he mentioned about not seeing each other, but that didn't happen, we continued to see each other. Well, about 5 weeks ago, was the last time we got together. Then he emailed saying he'd like to see me the next week. I haven't heard back from him since!! The longest time period we didn't talk before was about 3 weeks and so now I am worried/upset/confused. I would like to see him again, but I already sent a couple of emails since then with no response, so I'm not going to lose all my self-respect by begging him!! And I am made sad by the fact that he didn't even say goodbye to me if that is what he wanted. I don't know if he will change his mind? Or do men never change their mind once they've made it up?

I would appreciate some advice from anyone who's been thru this and survived!! Thanks.

xxxx

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:39pm
the time has flown by for the A. i swear it seems like i've been with him for 10 years. we just spent two days away last week and it was incredible. we are sooo connected and he has opened up so much in the past year because i don't require anything from him but a little time and attention. i think i'm afraid that if i leave my BF, he will think i will want him to spend more time with me and/or leave his W, but that's not the case. i want to get control of my life. i made a career move two years ago so finances are not a problem and the house is mine so that's not a problem either.

he's in his third marriage, i've only been married once and tooo scared to try again.

BF and i have many more issues than the drinking, but those issues are only getting worse as more time passes and he gets older (he's 9 years older than me, and i'm old -- well, not in my head!!). anyway, i'm not going to live without sex ever, i hope. and neither should you. eventually we have to make OURSELVES happy or we'll go crazy!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:44pm
I totally agree with you about making ourselves happy!! Right now I am trying to keep myself busy to try and forget about the A. Its hard to do, I try to make a come-on to H, but it never works with him. It makes me feel unattractive, meanwhile with MM he was constantly complimenting me, it was great for the ego and made me feel sexy. Now I feel again like there's no one to care about my feelings and I have nothing to feel excited about anymore.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:53pm
honey you are the one who has to feel good about yourself. my xH never made me feel attractive, wanted or anything and at this point in our R, my BF is acting like i'm the same ole thing. but you know what, i decided over a year ago to dress for me, paint my nails any color i wanted to, wear too much jewelry if i felt like it, have great shoes, smile alot, make tons of friends and be my own person. and you know what, it works. i'm happier and my MM loves the fact that i'm secure, happy, self-sufficient and good-looking. my BF is just jealous and unhappy about lots of it, but i could care less.

happiness comes from inside you. i know you're upset now because of the come-down/letdown from your R probably being over, but the best medicine is to get back to being you! and remember the good things from the A. he did make you feel attractive so obviously you are a good-looking woman who has had love in her life and will again. you will come to your own decision insofar as your M, in your own time.

make your HAPPY!

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:31pm
Thanks for the encouragement, you are very sweet. And I will try to remember those things and feel good about myself. Maybe one day have a love life again, who knows?? Miracles could happen lol.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:52pm
you're very welcome and you will, never fear. once you've experienced real love, you will be open to receiving love again.

take care,

gurl

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