I'm sorry you are feeling bad today. I'm feeling the same. I'm getting so fed up with this nonsense. I love being with him but then I want to be with him full time. He is teetering back on forth on the d**m fence and it's making me sick.
He keeps saying all these wonderful things. Like how nice it would be if we lived in a certain house and asking me would I want to wake up to him everyday and if I would like coming home and having dinner already prepared, and how he loves me and he's sad to leave, and that he doesnt want to go home, and how he loves my company, and how special I am and blah blah blah...
So, wth is he waiting for? The end of this year is still my goal. I cant keep on this way. I'm tired of being an option on the side just in case his sham of a marriage doesnt last. Dont get me wrong, he's a great guy. He'll give me his last bite of food, He's given me money and bought me food. He calls me and makes sure I'm home safe. He calls just to tell me goodnight, He calls just to see what I'm doing and he's very affectionate and becomes more so the more we are with each other.
I told him one of my goals is to be happily married and he says that's what he wants and that maybe we'll have that happy marriage with each other. So, hello? what's the hold up? Not saying that I want to jump straight into marriage with him
Reading all these heartfelt posts, it's always the same theme- he's unavailable to be open and you're miserable today. I think I need a goal date for him to kick the ex out of his life. Right now I think he's in Vegas with the ex- and he said he was meeting his daughter. White Liar.
Hi, I wanted to email you through your profile, but that's off, so could you please email me at relationshipscm@mail.ivillage.com or through my member profile?
Yes, earth to AP! I feel like they can be so dense sometimes, missing out on a wonderful woman right in front of them. Maybe they think we will wait forever, or at least until they are ready. Whatever ready might encompass for them. Jeez.
He might be dense, but I think I'm foolish. Fooling myself into thinking that this person loves me and wants a future with me, when in fact that may very well never happen.
I tried talking to my friend tonite online who is very understanding and supportive of my ridiculous situation. Having been in a similar situation himself, he doesn't judge, listens, and tries to offer advice and support where he can. He tried giving me help with a reality check and just as I was mulling things over more...what happens...
I go out to my car (first time in 24 hours or more) and find an envelope with my name on the driver's seat. It's BF's handwriting. I open it and find a very sweet anniversary card inside. I found out he put it there last nite before he left my place. I was so surprised and thought the short note he wrote inside was very sweet and it made me tear up a little.
God!
It's stuff like this that totally gets me back in/keeps me holding out hope.
I know he isn't in love with me. I appreciate his honesty. "I'm giving you all that I can right now, but I do have more to give," and "I love you, but I'm not in love with you...but I want to be." That's the status. I get that and in some ways it hurts, but I also understand it. I feel similar towards him, but leaning more towards IN love even though I try my hardest not to be/deny it because of the situation. Frustrating. Not sure if his comments are because of the situation/won't let himself go further until its resolved, or if it's a way he can justify things in his own mind between me and FWB.
Edited 11/18/2009 4:54 am ET by torn_apart_goddess
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Hi Torn,
I'm sorry you are feeling bad today. I'm feeling the same. I'm getting so fed up with this nonsense. I love being with him but then I want to be with him full time. He is teetering back on forth on the d**m fence and it's making me sick.
He keeps saying all these wonderful things. Like how nice it would be if we lived in a certain house and asking me would I want to wake up to him everyday and if I would like coming home and having dinner already prepared, and how he loves me and he's sad to leave, and that he doesnt want to go home, and how he loves my company, and how special I am and blah blah blah...
So, wth is he waiting for? The end of this year is still my goal. I cant keep on this way. I'm tired of being an option on the side just in case his sham of a marriage doesnt last. Dont get me wrong, he's a great guy. He'll give me his last bite of food, He's given me money and bought me food. He calls me and makes sure I'm home safe. He calls just to tell me goodnight, He calls just to see what I'm doing and he's very affectionate and becomes more so the more we are with each other.
I told him one of my goals is to be happily married and he says that's what he wants and that maybe we'll have that happy marriage with each other. So, hello? what's the hold up? Not saying that I want to jump straight into marriage with him
I think I need a goal date for him to kick the ex out of his life. Right now I think he's in Vegas with the ex- and he said he was meeting his daughter.
White Liar.
Hi, I wanted to email you through your profile, but that's off, so could you please email me at relationshipscm@mail.ivillage.com or through my member profile?
Thanks and have a great weekend! :)
_________________________________________________

Yes, earth to AP! I feel like they can be so dense sometimes, missing out on a wonderful woman right in front of them. Maybe they think we will wait forever, or at least until they are ready. Whatever ready might encompass for them. Jeez.
He might be dense, but I think I'm foolish. Fooling myself into thinking that this person loves me and wants a future with me, when in fact that may very well never happen.
I tried talking to my friend tonite online who is very understanding and supportive of my ridiculous situation. Having been in a similar situation himself, he doesn't judge, listens, and tries to offer advice and support where he can. He tried giving me help with a reality check and just as I was mulling things over more...what happens...
I go out to my car (first time in 24 hours or more) and find an envelope with my name on the driver's seat. It's BF's handwriting. I open it and find a very sweet anniversary card inside. I found out he put it there last nite before he left my place. I was so surprised and thought the short note he wrote inside was very sweet and it made me tear up a little.
God!
It's stuff like this that totally gets me back in/keeps me holding out hope.
I know he isn't in love with me. I appreciate his honesty. "I'm giving you all that I can right now, but I do have more to give," and "I love you, but I'm not in love with you...but I want to be." That's the status. I get that and in some ways it hurts, but I also understand it. I feel similar towards him, but leaning more towards IN love even though I try my hardest not to be/deny it because of the situation. Frustrating. Not sure if his comments are because of the situation/won't let himself go further until its resolved, or if it's a way he can justify things in his own mind between me and FWB.
Edited 11/18/2009 4:54 am ET by torn_apart_goddess
Pages