feeling kinda low

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
feeling kinda low
31
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 2:04pm

saw ap last week monday for lunch, tuesday we ate out..then went back to my place he was there until midnight, wednesday no AP, thursday for lunch-he gave me the biggest bottle of Belvedere Vodka that's sold (love my Vodka..he's given this to me before), friday no AP was mad at his azz because of thursday's discussion at lunch and how he treats me like a kid sometimes..he even calls me "KID" at times like i'm his daughter, saturday-didn't know AP was coming over but again my son knew...he came to see my son off to his homecoming formal and to give him money for afterwards to buy my son's date dinner or whatever they were gonna do...it was a surprise for me i guess..they like to play tricks on me..(no AP is not son's father..)


After we dropped my son off, I was in a funky mood..things have been welling up inside me for a while..what I mean is, I have a great AP, he loves me dearly and I love him dearly..but..I have questions that I'm afraid to ask him because I'm very scared that they will turn into an argument or somehow make him leave me...although I know you can't control what someone does, they are gonna leave if they want to leave.

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 2:22pm

If I were you, and if he does ever call back, I'd apologize for my drunken outburst.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 2:24pm


Going to be blunt here....

If he knows you get nasty when drunk why the hell would he buy you liquor??? My advice would be to stay away from liquor because obviously your behavior gets very ugly. You shouldn't drink KNOWING that you get this way. That is the REAL problem here. How long do you expect him or anyone to put up with that. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't talk with you again.

You + Liquor = disaster

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 2:37pm
nah...that's not it..he'll talk to me again...just found out he's been talking to my son all morning..i didn't know because my son doesn't tell me when they speak..and sometimes he comes over it's a surprise, he'll call my son to make sure someone's here so he can surprise me, or so my son can get me to come home...for the surprise element...you are right ..me + alcohol + disaster...and yes why would he buy it for me...have no earthly clue..maybe because he knows i like it and it's expensive vodka.he likes to give me nice things....i will stop drinking to the point where i'm pissy...
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 2:55pm

there's no doubt that we'll speak, AP loves me very very very much and on occasion has told me that if he never met wifey and knew i existed he would have had a long term relationsship with me..(think he felt pressured into "M" with "W" because of the child..i hate that)..him and w are two totally different people with different goals..we have similar qualities and are just alike...you are right i do need to apologize for my drunken outburst...i agree with that...i totally agree...i feel bad because i looked at my son's celly (yes i invaded his privacy but i pay the bill) and they've been texting all morning about game day..the football games that are on..that's what they do on sundays...i'm certain he won't be here today because he's mad but friday sat and sunday are our days together..early sundays we all eat then he and my son watch football and make fun of me because i don't know what i'm talking about...i feel bad because i know he's itchin to come over to spend time with my son...he may still come..the both love football....(he lives an hour and 1/2 away and yes we spend all that time together).

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 3:47pm

Tyger -


I am sorry to hear about your evening - but yes - I will echo what everyone else said - you need to leave the alcohol ALONE!!!

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Sun, 10-19-2008 - 4:21pm

you are right..and guess what..before 4.5 years ago..i never used to drink..what is that about? maybe it's because it's something you can do...ya know...and you are right 1 drink is enough!!! and maybe wayyy too much at times...but i say it everytime...ahhh i can do more than one more...but it never works....you are also right in that i should apologize, although things should come out but not in that way...i will definately check my phone...


someone should have slapped the hell out of me last night..i was hoping my neighbor would come downstairs and say "girl i will slap the heck outta you if you don't settle down" but noone was home..it was a saturday night..everyone was out doing what i tried to do...


me + alcohol + condition = bad things happen...and i will def lay off.


thanks....i appreciate it...

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 2:49am
Hey tyger I was just wondering, are you M or is he M? I am just curious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 10:34am
i'm not "m" he is the one that's "m"
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 1:42am

Oh, so we're in the same boat. S w/ MM. Why do we do it to ourselves? I could date just about any guy I wanted, but I fall in love w/ a MM. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

So are you feeling better? I read your last post, and you were feeling pretty crappy. We all do stupid sh*t, he'll get over it. Just apologize, and then have awesome make up sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 8:00am
no girl not feeling better...lol...we haven't spoken yet..but it's cool..he's still spoken to my son a lot..a whole lot..he came in here yesterday and sat right in front of me..in my bosses office (boss is acroos the hall we both have bay windows in our offices but have to leave the blinds open)...and sat right in front of the window...he's in here today sitting in the break room...i made coffee..they have company coffee but i like starbucks so i bring in my own..they told him, that's such and such's coffee and she likes it strong ...we gotta guard it...he sat in there til i got back..still in there....it's cool though...i'm not crying or anything and haven't cried once..it is what it is...we'll talk...i'm confident..my sons football game is saturday so i'll see him....well i see him everyday...lol..the one lady that kind of helped link us up told me to go in there and slap him in the back of his head for leaving me tipsy...i told her i cant do that at work...i am not inappropriate with him here at all...i need my job..so i can keep it that way....i just ignored him or acted like he wasn't here...yesterday and today..that probably hurts his feelings...he always said he's not good with that...i just think he is...not sure why he's lingering here..he should be out on the road..not drinking my damn coffee...i ought to shake his azz down for $2.49 starbucks is expensive...
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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