Feeling Weak

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Feeling Weak
2
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 7:11am
So ap went to a family reunion for a week or so and i didn't hear from him. It started out feeling like it was a good thing, the nc we had for almost two weeks, and I started to feel like i mite be able to move past this A, and all the emotional turmoil it bombards me with. I was getting to the point where i was really annoyed he didn't contact me, and i started imagining all kinds of crazy scenarios. I know full well that when he is busy with his W/kids, and when he's in a bad mood, the contact is limited. I just always take it personally. I wanted to talk to him SO bad, and when i saw him online last nite, my heart soared. He didn't see me in time and logged off, and then I was totally crushed! I never experienced my heart falling thru the floor like it did when i saw him sign off and didn't get to talk to him. I really thought he saw me online and didn't want to talk to me. I was on the verge of crying about it, actually had tears in my eyes, when lo and behold, guess who is back online IM'ing me? He did see me, and signed back on just to talk to me for the next hour til i cut off the conversation and went to bed.
Now, we have a date for tonite. I hope it works out so we can see each other.
Talk about an emotional roller coaster......why do i think negative things like that about someone who is so special to me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
In reply to: emscemily
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 10:22pm
It's not about them, It's all of our insecurities coming out. I've been doing that a lot lately. Sunday starts LC for Me and My AP for at least a month. we were supposed to get TOGETHER for lunch today before LC starts. He didn't show up and didn't call. Right away I started thinking all these crazy things. When he did call to tell me he wasn't going to make it, he was mad, I assumed it was because of me. Again here came all the crazy thoughts again. Well as it turns out, he called as soon as he got off work, apparently he had a few fires pop up at work that prevented him from leaving and he was mad because he had a very special lunch planned for me. I haven't yet figured out how to stop this way of thinking, because I really don't like it. As you said We love them, but we always assume the worst.
Scar
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
In reply to: emscemily
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 12:57am

Hi you guys,


I am the same way. My insecurities seem magnified x10 in this R. If he doesnt call when he says or cancels plans or doesnt answer the phone, I automatically think it's because of me. I think, maybe he doesn't love me anymore, or he's losing interest or maybe it was something I did or said or