Feelings about what you are doing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2008
Feelings about what you are doing...
17
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 1:54pm

Like I said in my intro, I am really new to this - less than a month of actual physical contact.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 8:09pm
i am separated now and planning to divorce. my ap has no idea...it is for me, but i never would of realized how lonely i was if my friend didnt come back into my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 3:15pm

I have no guilty feelings what so ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 3:37pm

I feel no guilt about my AP because I went over 20 years without having one while H had many.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2007
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 5:07pm

This is such a cool board and everyone is so honest and open, it's great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 6:24pm
my guy was my first love/lover--we reunited after 29 yrs....i feel like i've known him longer then most people in his life and he me....we are grandfathered to one another :)...i asked him once 'why do i tell you all my secrets' and he said 'because you can'...i adore him and really can't see him not in my life in some way..even as just a friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 9:35am

I started my A while I was still M, but moved out about three months into the A. My M is going on 22 years, D will be final next year, just due to some financial things.

I didn't feel guilty about the A, STBX and I were pretty distant at that point, and I was already planning my exit. Now being somewhat single, I don't even feel like I am in an A, but AP is still with W and makes comments about a future with me, but not too much.

Currently AP is facing a very difficult illness and other problems, so there is no rush for him to add a difficult D to the picture. I am not pushing for him to. He needs to just deal with his health first. AP tells me that I am the only good thing he has and that he is so glad to have me in his life. When the illness was first diagnosed I wanted his W to step up to the plate and do all she could to help him through this, and I told him so. From what he says, and it's not too much because I don't ask, she is just going on like all is normal.

I try to not think too far ahead, right now we are there for each other. Sometimes I do wonder if him being in an A with me is blocking the blessings, so to speak.

In many respects this A is not the fun escape that most of us fall into. It kills me to see him in pain, to wonder what will happen with his health. But it also confirms that this wasn't just a fling, that there are real deep feelings involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2007
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 1:59pm

Just when I think I am ready to move on from this board, a post like this strikes a chord with me.


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