finally amitted ILU to AP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
finally amitted ILU to AP.
8
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 7:44am
it's been a nice 2 days and yesterday was even nicer. when i got out of work last night, i seen my AP was still busy with a client, so i went cleaned my car, did a couple of other things and when i came back he was finished. i wont even walk in his job when he's with a client. he told me he had another client coming back at closing, so do you have time later to hang. he already called home and said he was going to be a few hours late. i said sure. well later he took me out, out side of work(mind you we've never done this, never went mia, or hung out side of work in 16 months), always in work time. we went for an hour drive in his ride which he knows i love. all over. we talked. i said to him what have i ever done for him to be so good to me. he told me i have a pure heart, i'm so sweet to him, good to him, he's never met any one like me. then to my surprise he asked why i'm with him. he's never done that, ever. i told him, i love his body and looks, but it goes deeper then that. i've always looked for some one with his strong personality. i said you tell it like it is, don't lie, the love for your children is endearing, that right there is why i want him so bad, and i said it, i said i love you as a person. i said i'm afraid to admit this, but i love you as a person. i did say when i found out from some else about your wife having a baby, i was shocked and hurt and didn't handle it well. he said that was a bad time. i said it least your honest with me now in telling me your going away for 2 weeks. he took time for me and risking his self to be with me out side of allotted time in public. he's always been paranoid about that. that's how we've kept our marriages and our affair safe for 16 months to. then we parked and made sweet love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:41am
I am so happy for you!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:55pm
Have you told him that you are married yet?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 1:02pm

My OM thinks a lot of good things about me, but I can't imagine he'd ever say I have a "pure heart". Neither one of us would say the other has a "pure heart". We both know that the deceit and lies that our R is based on kind of spoils any purity of anything really.

Sweet, yeah. Intelligent, fun, sexy, caring even. Honest or "pure" no.

Sometimes I just think the flowery talk is a little... fake or something, I dunno.

But I'm glad for you that you had a wonderful day and got to say what you wanted to say to him.

Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:47pm
no i haven't. i decided to let it be, and the reason, we are not getting married, committing to one another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:51pm
i didn't say ILU, but instead ILU as a person. is it the same thing? i don't know if i'll ever say it again. it was scary to say. i'm so glad i did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2007
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 7:13am

In my eyes ILU and ILU as a person are NOT the same...Just my perspective...I love a lot of people for who they are!Friends, colleauges..on and on...but Saying I love You in a romantic way is different.


Regardless..sounds like you took yourself over a bump..you shared some deep feelings with him & he reciprocated! Its all good!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2008
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 7:22am

I love you as a person is NOT the same thing as I love you. I love many people as a person. Doesnt mean I am IN LOVE with them.


NY

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 08-21-2008 - 7:34am
i honestly wanted to say ILU only, but wound up saying the word person. i think he knows how deep my feelings run for him like ILU. maybe he was fishing for me to say it.i felt like if i had said ILU only, it was pushing the envelope. i've always said cared for, this is the first time the word love ever came from my mouth. some times i think it scares him that i feel this deep emotional connection with him and i'm so attracted to him. i found out his way of dealing emotionally with the affair is pulling away sexually for like a week. it's weird, when we both started this affair, we had sex 3 to 4 times a week. now as we have become more emotionally connected, we have less sex. when we do have sex, it's extremely intense and passionate. the tangled web of an affair is confusing. i'm afraid of letting him know too much of my feelings, then getting devastated. the affair was never suppose to last this long, we where never suppose to build this emotional connection, and it was only suppose to be for sex and a couple of lunches. i do see the way he looks at me when he doesn't think i'm looking. like last night i left before him, i was backing up my car while he was getting into his. i seen him watching me when i turned around, i wanted him so bad. i think i could feel it back. 4 days of nc again. i think it's good right now. way too many emotions i'm feeling.


Edited 8/21/2008 7:46 am ET by tori2007