finally heard from AP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
finally heard from AP!
16
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 6:12pm

Hi all,


I finally heard from AP this morning got

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 7:07pm

I'm so glad you finally heard from him!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 7:18pm
Be careful! Let's be friends usually means let me see if you are crazy enough to continue having sex with me eventhough I have no intention of ever being with you. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 8:10pm

Wow ali!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 9:06pm
Oh, Ali, I'm so glad you heard from him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 2:14pm

Thanks another I have had such mixed feelings about whether i'm doing the right thing meeting him, but only I can decide if its the right thing to do. I know it must be difficult situation for him with his children, and although I understand that he thinks he is doing the best thing for them by staying I don't necessarily agree it is the right thing to do. However that is his choice and I would never want him to do something that didn't feel right for him.


I would like to be friends with him and think that we could have the friendship we had before the A, although it will seem strange. had a few texts off him again today, I am not initiating any contact with him I am letting him do that and my replies have all been just friendly nothing that would give him the impression I am wanting more from him.


I have a feeling that he will turn up tomorrow night, just a gut feeling( hope I am right) LOL


ali x

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 2:21pm

Thanks bumble, it was actually me that said lets be friends and not him. Not sure whether he expects more than that.


I am under no illusion that me and him will ever be together, but I have missed his friendship and I need to do this for myself even if it will be painful.


ali x

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 2:34pm

Hi alive,


I probably do have some hope that one day we could be together, but rationally thinking I know that this is never going to happen. Of course I still love him and it is difficult to see him again as friends but I have to do this.


Underneath this vulnerability is a strong woman LOL I did this with an ex a few years ago, after he had cheated on me we met up had a good old chat and cleared the air.I loved him deeply, he broke my heart but meeting up with him again was the best thing I could do. I saw him for what he really was and it gave me great pleasure when I realised he wanted to be more than friends and I refused LOL.


probably not the best way to get a man out of your system but it worked for me and I don't have any regrets

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 2:37pm

Hi Ali,


I say do what feels right for you but I hope that Friday night outing doesn't turn into anything else but for you to get closure and move on. I understand he has kids and doesn't want to leave them but just one single text could of put you out your misery and he wasn't able to do that. I think you'll get hurt again and again and will waste more of your precious time if you continue with him. My AP is single so I understand to an extent how you feel. I say keep your options open to single men only and allow yourself to get into the the things that you once enjoyed and that will help keep you occupied.


I'm glad you have some peace of mind.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 2:58pm

Hi jane.


thanks for your reply. It has closed some of that black hole for me. Of course I am not going to deny that I still love him but as you say I am going in to this with my eyes wide open this time. I know that the reality is that we will never be together, and I am not prepared to let myself get back into an A with him under those circumstances.


You are right that things will never be the same between us. I know that I deserve so much better than this and I think he also knows that. Part of me does not want to let go of him but I have to for my own sanity.


Despite the fact that I am vulnerable after what he has done I am also a strong woman and have been through worse than this. maybe I am kidding myself that we can be friends, I hope that we can as I value his friendship. I know that seeing him again will hurt but I will put on a brave face and enjoy the time we have together.


I know that I am not ready to meet someone else just yet, but I am not going to wait around and mope after him life is too short.


ali x

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 3:09pm

hi rayne,


thanks for your reply. I couldn't agree more that all it took was 1 simple text, instead he thought it would be easier to stay away.


I know that he would continue to hurt me if this A started up again . He has told me he can't leave his children which I understand and for me that means that we will never be together.


I have given him enough of my time and was prepared to wait for him but that is no longer an option in my eyes. I don't want an A I want a real relationship, unfortunately I am never going to get that from him.


I need to see him to get the closure even though it will hurt me. Maybe we can be friends maybe not we will see. I am certainly not looking for another relationship just yet but I am not going to mope around after him.


ali x

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