First Fight, and Fingers Crossed

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
First Fight, and Fingers Crossed
6
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 7:02pm

AP and I had our first fight, and quite honestly, I'm a bit confused by his behavior.


Keeping in mind that we were friends before we began an A, we've always been

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 8:43pm

he must have been suppressing conflicting feelings and must have let his guard down.. he must know he can't ask that you be not intimate w/ your H.. that's just not possible.. he knows that.. but then there's the male ego.. and probably not that different for women either..


he needs to confirm to you that what he did was wrong.. and that he can't be possesive about you that way.. it's just not realistic and will only bring more stress.. maybe a ban on home intimate life discussions between the two of you

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 10:20pm

I could tell he really felt awful about the whole thing; it really was just so unlike him.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 11:11pm
Aww, well I'd say he is obviously jealous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 11:21pm
As odd as this may sound, Jane, I don't know that I want him to have strong feelings for me.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 7:49am

Not crazy, but I wouldn't worry. The men who have a "push and pull" pattern seem to have it right from the start. And although there's a theory that it means they have strong feelings (and that might be true in some cases), I think it's more guilt and thinking about what would happen if found out that causes their "pulling away". If your AP hasn't had a "pulling away" episode yet, it's probably not gonna happen.

And yeah, he's obviously jealous. Sometimes men have a "sexual jealousy" even if they're not "in love", it's a "possessive" thing. But from what you've shared, he might very well be falling in love. I guess it's best to keep your marital sex life to yourself LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 11:54am

Well, apparently AP doesn't consider what happened the other night a "fight".


Quick backstory: I have three fairly close male friends (AP being one of them) whom I chat/text with on a regular basis.

anotherseyes