First Post - Losing Control
I’m not really sure if I should be posting here, I say that because I am not having an affair, I have however met someone, a MM who is 20 years my senior and whom I am extremely attracted to who is equally attracted to me. I am currently involved in a relationship with a man I love, who is wonderful to me. My MM also has a wonderful wife he cares a great deal for. I say we are attracted to each other but I almost feel as though “attracted” doesn’t begin to cover it. I have so far refused to even kiss him, as I know that simple act would put both of our relationships in jeopardy and would more than that be the passing of a point of no return. I have thus far been exercising every ounce of self-control I have and yet I cannot stop thinking about him. An hour after I’ve left him I miss him terribly, I lay in bed with my boyfriend at night and cannot sleep because all I can think of is my MM. He says he is going through the same thing and has feelings for me he’s never had for anyone in his life. We talk about what it would be like to be together, but we know that rationally our age difference alone should be enough to be a deal breaker. We know the smart thing to do would be to stay as far away from each other as possible to keep the order in our lives, and yet we are consistently compelled to spend time together. It is as though the need supercedes the logic. And it’s only going to get worse.
We are both actors an in a show together, in the play we fall in love and kiss onstage. From a performance standpoint the love scenes are incredible because the chemistry is almost palpable. But there is more than a month left of the production and I wonder if our will power will hold out, or my will power any way as he has tried to kiss me off-stage on more than one occasion and I continue to hold out. Each day more feelings become more intense and although we have not staged the kiss yet I wonder if I will just come undone when we do. I am not exactly sure what to do. I don’t want to lose my BF nor do I want break up a marriage, but I feel like I am losing control completely. I am posting here to offer up my story for anyone with any thoughts or advice. I often wonder if I will regret holding out more than I would giving in, but at this point I feel so torn in so many directions that I can barely focus. Anyway I’m sorry to ramble; hopefully this will be my first and last epic. Thanks everyone.
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I suggest reading a largr number of posts here to help you understand what you are getting into, lots of pain for all concerned, check the stats, the women fall in love the men fall in lust.
Are you his first Other woman, I doubt it, he sounds experianced
Remember he is an actor and performing is what he does, time to be open with your b/f if you want to keep him.Consider exiting the play.
GOOD luck
Trying
What you are involved in is an Emotional Affair, but nonetheless an affair. Do some reading here on the board and always feel free to ask questions and offer your two cents on any thread.
Again, welcome to our community!
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
i'm not making light of your situation, but i do think this is a case of art imitating life. you and MM are acting like lovers and have great chemistry, so it follows that you would "feel" the part. but do actually want to act out the part and become a clique?! "LEADING LADY FALLS IN LOVE WITH LEADING MAN ONLY TO GET DUMPED BY LEADING MAN WHEN PLAY ENDS!"
act with MM if you must, but take a step back from "acting" on those feelings. when the play's over, you and MM will part ways and move onto other parts and other actors/actresses. will you be attracted to every leading man -- i doubt it.
good luck,
gurl
And Gurl, you are right I really do NOT want to be a cliche, you may have a point about the roles feeding the feelings but I guess I can't help thinking its more than that. We have rehearsals fairly often and as things progress I guess I will have to see... Thanks again.
Mac
gurl
They never listen tell it's to late , but then I did not.
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Hrm...
Well.
Here's how I see it.
If his marriage is on the rocks, his marriage is on the rocks. You're not responsible for his decisions or for their outcomes- that is HIS decision. If he's not fulfilled in his marriage, he will reach outside of it.
Be a wild child.
It's noble of you to be concerned about his marriage...
I seem to have missed the part were his marriage was on the rocks or your relationship with you B/F sucked, actualy you make it sound that like his relationship with his wife is GOOD and yours with your B/F is good to.
Bottom line is if you play the game you will have to pay the price somewere in your life.
You have been given a lot of good advice young lady accept it and ignore the rest.
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If you spent any time around actors (male actors) you would know that this is a SOP for many most will stay married for 50 years, the A would last at most a few weeks or until the play closes.
Why should she risk the good thing she has with the B/F for this type of an affair she will altametely get nothing from it but a bad rep in the industry that may hinder her future.
Beside all that the old fart may not do the job in the sake as well as she is hopeing.
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