First time with AP - so weird!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
First time with AP - so weird!
7
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 4:52am

So for two months, I'd been in an almost-A with an old friend who is single, I'm M. Steamy text messages, phone calls, etc. We were going to take it to a PA in December, then he backed out at the last moment.

Well he had a change of heart this week when he found out my DH was away on business. He came over and we had our "one night" we'd been talking about for months...and it was so strange!


I guess I'd put him on quite the pedestal, but it wasn't nearly as mind blowing as I'd built it up to be. We spent a good hour and a half talking and cuddling first, but then it just jumped right from cuddling (while topless) directly

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 5:17am

Hon, i understand what you are saying.I guess the main prob here is that you had high expectations and compared to that,it was just normal.As for jumping to IC quickly and finishing fast ,i would say it was a built up for your AP and he couldnt control it, anxiety, you know! it affects their performance.
The first time can be very overwhelming.but i would give another chance and see if he always performs the same way and i feel the same again.if its nothing great ,it would be deal breaker for me,but thats me.

I am sorry that it wasnt what you wanted out of him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2008
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 8:30am

Oh yes, the PRESSURE and the NERVES of being with someone new!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 11:28am

Hi there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2008
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 8:48pm

Hi - completely agree with the other posters. When my AP & I got together for the first time he was unable to perform - guilt, pressure - etc.. Sooo glad gave him a second chance because it was incredible!


Hang in there

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2008
Sun, 01-11-2009 - 11:42am
2nd this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 11:47am

Corioliss,


I could of written your post myself!! Same thing happened to me! Although it wasn't the "1st' time w/XAP, it was our 1st time in 17 yrs. We had a previous "A" 17 yrs ago - then never saw each other - I found him via "Google" and our email exchanges quickly escalated to very steamy, erotic type messages. So much so, that we made plans to meet and somewhat "re-kindle" what we had all those yrs ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 3:40pm

I reconnected with old BF/SO/XAP (loooong story) a year ago. We had been in touch for the last 7 years, but "just friends". Until we met IRL. First time we met nothing more than kissing happened (another long story) but our e-mails got quite steamy within a week. Mostly because of our history. We decided to meet again and spend 24 hours together. I was nervous because I was afraid he would be disappointed. It was after all 14 years since our last time. I told him, and he replied he had the same thoughts:

<<<<<>>>>>

WE WILL JUST HAVE TO PRACTISE PRACTISE PRACTISE TO GET IT RIGHT

The first time is just a "trial run"...

As it turns out we didn't need practise, but we did anyway :) and it's getting unbelievably better and better every time *sigh*


Edwina