I totally understand how you feel jess. It is very difficult. I really can't tell you how to move on other then it takes time. My AP and I have been together for almost 4 years now. Know we love each other very much but also know we will never be together which breaks out hearts. Us like you can't leave our H/W. We have broken it off many of times due to becoming overwhelmed with all the emotions. I have 3 times and he had 1 time. We have come to the point of saying when we get that way now we just say we need space and time to ourselves for awhile not to break it off. He did his break off very recently. We had NC for about 2 weeks. I really wasn't expecting to hear from him again. But of course I did. However my problem now is in that time of NC...I had a good friend come back into my life. This was about a month ago. Someone I have always had contact with and talked with but not to the degree as before. We talk everyday which is something AP and I don't do. AP and I will go weeks with no contact which I don't like. But OM and I talk everyday sometimes more then once. Nothing P with OM. Just purely EA at this point. So I totally understand how you feel. Like I said can't really tell you how to get over it other then it takes time. You will always love him and have a piece of him in your heart and that is when you have to remember the wonderful time you had together and focus on those happy thoughts rather then the thoughts of not being able to be together. That is what keeps me going most of the time and the fact that I have OM to talk to. He keeps my mind off of it. OM knows about AP and just helps me along the way. Good luck to you dear.
I know just how you feel Ap and I were in love and I tried to ignore that fact. In the end the emotions were just too strong. He taught me what it feels like to give love back. He is my first love. We could not deny ourselves any longer. We waited a year, and then both of us left our SOs. You say that is not possible for you, but staying NC doesn't sound very realistic. It sounds like you two really love each other. Love will not be denied. It has a way of making things go in it's favor.
I guess all you could really do is move, but you say you and H own a business, so that really doesn't sound feasible. I don't know what you can do to get over him other than time heals all wounds. I don't know if that's true though. I was away from AP for 6 yrs, and I couldn't get over him no matter what I did. I hope it doesn't take you that long. Good Luck. Were here if you need us.
I didn't believe I could leave my M either when I started my A at the beginning of this year. But being in my A helped me see my M life much more clearly and see that there were major issues, not related to my A. So here I am, four months into separation.
I agree with Tgr (as always a great post Tgr). If you want to leave you can. Nobody says it's easy - it may be incredibly difficult, but it isn't impossible, so stop thinking that way. Nothing is impossible if you want it enough. That is what I told my AP this weekend. If you want something enough, you will find a way. And the same goes for your AP. If he really doesn't want to be there, in his M anymore, he will not be.
That being said, you need to know what it is that you want. If you want out of your M, you really need to get out because it isn't good for you there anymore, not because you have an AP to move in with. You should never leave for another man.
Hi Jess -
First - welcome to the board - I know you will find lots of wonderful folks here - with tons of support and advice for you.
I know just how you feel Ap and I were in love and I tried to ignore that fact. In the end the emotions were just too strong. He taught me what it feels like to give love back. He is my first love. We could not deny ourselves any longer. We waited a year, and then both of us left our SOs. You say that is not possible for you, but staying NC doesn't sound very realistic. It sounds like you two really love each other. Love will not be denied. It has a way of making things go in it's favor.
I guess all you could really do is move, but you say you and H own a business, so that really doesn't sound feasible. I don't know what you can do to get over him other than time heals all wounds. I don't know if that's true though. I was away from AP for 6 yrs, and I couldn't get over him no matter what I did. I hope it doesn't take you that long. Good Luck. Were here if you need us.
I didn't believe I could leave my M either when I started my A at the beginning of this year. But being in my A helped me see my M life much more clearly and see that there were major issues, not related to my A. So here I am, four months into separation.
I agree with Tgr (as always a great post Tgr). If you want to leave you can. Nobody says it's easy - it may be incredibly difficult, but it isn't impossible, so stop thinking that way. Nothing is impossible if you want it enough. That is what I told my AP this weekend. If you want something enough, you will find a way. And the same goes for your AP. If he really doesn't want to be there, in his M anymore, he will not be.
That being said, you need to know what it is that you want. If you want out of your M, you really need to get out because it isn't good for you there anymore, not because you have an AP to move in with. You should never leave for another man.
I wish you well.
Pisces