First timer...and wow - what a mess...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
First timer...and wow - what a mess...
3
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 1:21am
The first thing I want to say is that I am so comforted bby how nice everyone is on here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 9:06am

First, welcome to MAS girlie!

Reading over your story, I think it would help you if the two of you could establish a timeline. Come up with a reasonable date that he should tell his wife that he wants to leave, and another date that he should leave by. Yes life can interfere and slight adjustments to the dates can be allowed - but for the most part he should stick to those dates.

The truth is, if he's going to leave, he will do it soon. If he finds it hard because of his child - then he will always find it hard, and you would have to wait till said child is grown. And if he hasn't left by then, he will probably come up with other excuses (financial, whatever). Truthfully, as long as he's having you AND staying comfortable in his marriage, why should he rock that boat? He's happy the way things are!

If you set a timeline with him, and he doesn't follow through, you have to be ready to leave him. If it's an empty threat, it won't work. If he lets you go, then you know that it is his wife and marriage that mean more to him after all.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Wed, 08-26-2009 - 1:21pm

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 08-26-2009 - 3:33pm
You're welcome, I'm glad I helped! Keep coming back here, any time you need to vent, through this process. :-)
Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I