Food for thought
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Food for thought
| Thu, 12-04-2003 - 9:42am |
After reading a lot posts of how one should not depend on another person for one's happiness and how somebody shouldn't make another one' s whole life got me thinking.. I guess its all good about keeping one's identity and not loosing one's beliefs and thoughts because of this other person. It means that one should be seeking out to fill a void in our life with another, but why is this said only for emotions. We seek food when we are hungry to fill a void in the stomach. There are many on this board that seek sex outside of their M because they too are filling a void in their lives that they do not get at home and some that hang around with no real reason other than to find an excuse to post. Why it it then that seeking out for physical voids is much less counsel worthy than people who want their emotions fulffilled. Don't get me wrong here, I am not judging anybody in any of the situations described above, but trying to figure out the general masses, that's all. Maybe I am not understanding something here.
Edited 12/4/2003 5:50:03 PM ET by autumnbreeze_iv
Edited 12/4/2003 5:50:03 PM ET by autumnbreeze_iv

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cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
if you are, then here's my take on it. counseling is suggested as one way to gain perspective on a perceived problem, like being overwhelmed by the feelings/emotions for another person, good and bad, that move you to despair, depression, etc.
just because someone is filling a void for sex (which i believe is an innate longing for all human beings) doesn't mean that person is confused, in despair or depressed, just horny. thus, no need for counseling, just a need for release. and after awhile, self-pleasure just doesn't do it for you.
that's it for me!
gurl
i think the issue becomes a cause for concern when one person feels that only their lover can fulfill their emotional needs and if they are dependant and obsessed with the love of one other person....its important (to me) to have a full life that includes many people, experiences, and pleasures and for me to NOT put my ALL into one human being.
honey
Edited 12/4/2003 5:51:13 PM ET by autumnbreeze_iv
all i'm saying is that humans fill any and all voids as necessity dictates, but if in filling that void, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, one becomes overwhelmed by negative feelings and decends into a morass of crying, depression, other negative behaviors, then intervention is called-for, a friend, family, therapist. some help getting out of the pit becomes mandatory, wouldn't you think?
gurl
gurl
Anyway, I agree. Don't get me wrong, your posts from yesterday made perfect sense. I have seen a lot of posters who have not qualms about the excessive extents in sexual relationship while emotions seem to be a taboo. Life is too short to be keeping a guard on your emotions and locking them away for later, for me. No offense meant.
and it's not quantity but the quality of your life/love with the object of your affection that's important. it would be wonderful for all humanity if we humans NEVER CHANGED! than our Rs would stay fresh, new, exciting, and not become stale and weighed down with the consequences of everyday life. but when one is in a R/M and many responsibilities are involved - the children, finances, etc., whatever, many choose to stay and find outside outlets for those voids in life. BUT NOT EVERYONE!
so life is made of choices. and you get to make your own choices for yourself. but not if those choices adversely affect others - like your mate finding out about the A/EMA and make their own choices!
gurl
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