Food for thought for Viper and others
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| Thu, 02-19-2004 - 11:39am |
I think you should seriously think of the possibility that your guy just wants you for sex....thats it...no strings attached mind blowing sex when he is in town. The guys (and I know I am generalizing) that play golf can be like that :)
I know the truth hurts but maybe thats all to it. And the reason he makes you feel special when he is with you is the fact that he wants sex from you. It is upto you to decide whether you want to be just his sexual partner or you desire something more. And yes, guys who care (even the quiet ones)do send out an email or a smile IM or a "what's happening" IM or something like that (I am just quoting the online behavior here...cuz thats all I know).
I disagree with some of the other posters here in the sense that I think if you have expectations from him you should let him know and not keep it to yourself. Why should everything be according to his demands....this is a reality for all of us here that we are in love with the MM (typical normal female human behavior) and why does anybody have to pose that its just sexual and not love when the truth is sooo different...just because you don't want to scare the guy off...well let him be scared if he gets scared by your emotions...he is not the guy for you then.
I certainly let my guy know when we were having the online thing (its NC from my end now) that I wanted it to be exclusive and I wanted to be loved as a person too (not just fuc*ed but loved too).
If you behave that you are not worth anything (in the sense that you suppress your expectations) ....he will treat you as if you are not worth anything.
PG

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Then, of course, there are men who intentionally play with women's emotions solely to boost their own ego or humor their sexual fantasies, and this crap I have zero tolerance for. But I hope it's not the case in your situations, sister and dusty.
Edited 2/19/2004 3:46:06 PM ET by boston53
i totally agree with boston -- if you've been in a longer A, there are subtle signs he's emotionally invested like making sure you are sexually satisfied, cuddling after, calling to say "hi" small stuff i know, but that's the way it is.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
But I'm not deluding myself, my A is for sex although we do like/respect each other alot.
I have another divorced friend who would definitely like to have more of a relationship with me, but I don't want to go there, because I know he would be alot more emotionally involved, and that I could not handle at this time.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I think my current MM is that way too. In our relationship we are not hurting each other, by saying we love each other when we know we can't be together. That's the way I feel about it anyways.
we have plans to meet tomorrow and I've been searching for a way to bring up the "how are you about all of this - has anything changed since the beginning" thing but couldn't quite figure out how...I just want him to know I am just as interested as I was 5 weeks ago and I think what we have is incredible. He gets pretty quiet when I say anything so this time I can let him start by putting it out there for him that way - I just want to hear *something* from him...anything as far as emotions go.
does that make sense?
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
I think you're right, just by the way the person treats you, can tell if its just a sex with no emotions or if there are some caring feelings there. And I think we have those feelings. Just thinking about it, makes me feel good. Have a nice evening!!
Dusty
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
Live, Love and Be Happy!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
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