FREAKING OUT ... BAD!!!! Need advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
FREAKING OUT ... BAD!!!! Need advice.
36
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 10:05am

So I went to the dentist yesterday and she mentioned that my gums were bleeding a lot which she said could happen if you're due for your period ... which I'm not, but my last period about 2 weeks ago was much lighter and shorter than normal ... still a day of really heavy bleeding though ... anyway during both my previous pregnancies one of the things that happened to me was that my gums bled almost every time I brushed my teeth ... so I went and bought a test yesterday and took it first thing this am ... it was not the darkest of lines, but there is most definitely a line there ... I can't go get another one or do anything else about it until tomorrow ... but I am obviously freaking out ... so the question is ... do I say anything to him? Why should I have to spend the next 24 + hours freaking out on my own ... but if it's not + then will I have freaked him out for nothing ... and if this is the case he will most certainly run for the hills .... and i don't want to lose him ... What is wrong with me? Here I might be pregnant by a man other than my husband and I'm worried about losing him ... yet I also don't want to spend the next 24 hours dealing with this by myself ...

What should I do???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 11:01am

First of all, BREATHE. Sit down, long slow breaths, concentrate on slowing down your heart (you really can do it).

If your AP contacts you today, by all means tell him. Also tell him that false positives are very uncommon with those tests, and ANY positive result - even a weak line - is still a positive result. It's much more common to get false negatives. So yes, you can tell him you'll repeat the test tomorrow, but the two of you should discuss today what the plan will be if it is positive, since that's what it most likely will be.

If you both talk about a plan, just knowing what it will be should calm some of your anxiety!

You're right. You shouldn't go through this alone. Are there any friends or relatives that could help you out with this, someone you REALLY trust? I think you need a real live breathing hugging person right now, someone on your side.

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 11:33am
i just read your post, and although i'm no longer in an affair, but sometimes still come to read, if i can offer advice sometimes i will. my advice is don't say anything until you know for sure, and if you are pregnant, as easy as some may say it is to abort, don't. i wound up pregnant last year during my affair, but miscarried, and till this day i wonder what my baby was. the horror of aborting will always remain with you, the are other options. i wish you the best of luck, and hope for your sake the test is negative.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 12:31am

OK, first, if at all possible, if you plan on staying in M, you need to have sex with your H.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 12:16pm
Any news ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 2:05pm
Went to dr for blood test today ... did tell ap ... been a rough few days ... won't know anything until later today or tomorrow and have to go back for a follow up on Monday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 8:07am
Please keep us updated! Worried about you...

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 8:28am
blood work came back with very low hcg levels repeat on Monday to see what direction they are going ... just trying to survive until then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 9:16am
So if levels go down, then it was a "failed" pregnancy. Higher means a normal one? ~fingers crossed~ for you! Any plans for the weekend that will be distracting?

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2009
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 12:29pm

how did AP respond when you told him?

i had a stupid scare over a yr ago. baby factory here was shut down on dh's end...over 16 yrs ago. of course, i can still get pregnant. AP and i do not us protection...he's had a vasectomy as well and we are the only AP ever for each other. i did address the health issue and we were both tested. i still revisit this issue with my dr yearly. but i do trust him...still, you never know what might be going on with HIS wife. anyway...i was very late with my period and kept thinking WHAT IF? i've heard of people getting pregnant years after vasectomies...and AP was on an extended job out of town...no one to talk to. just really worried for a while even though i knew the odds of my being pregnant were not great at all. when i told him...he just laughed (sweetly) and was sorry not to be there for me, but we both know that i was worrying over nothing...he was so nice to me...

i cannot imagine the stress you are under. wishing you the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 12:47pm
If you are still able to conceive a child, why in heaven's name are you not using birth control while having sex with your AP? That's just irresponsible, don't you think? I'd start using it if I were you.