Friday, Roll Call and a little something
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| Fri, 01-30-2004 - 12:09pm |
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...one old love she can imagine going back to...
… and one who reminds her how far she has come...
…enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
…something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
…a youth she's content to leave behind... …a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...
...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
…one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..
…a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
..how to fall in love without losing herself...
...how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship… …when to walk away... ...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents... ...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over... ...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... ...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it... ...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally... ...where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing... ...what she can and can't accomplish in an hour, a month...and a year...

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oh saturday, chime in honey, anytime!!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Live, Love and Be Happy!
gurliejb@yahoo.com
Edited 2/17/2004 10:04:30 AM ET by cl-gurlfriend50
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
I have been away from this board for a while because for me, it really is not healthy, and I will let you know why.
First of all Gurl, I certainly understand your suspcions and don't blame you for being suspect of my motives. You have every right to protect yourself and should. Even though I have nothing to hide, I am probably more paranoid than most about things done on the pc. I don't fall into the category of someone trying to contact you via your email. True, my questions here are odd and out of order among the regulars, but I mean no harm But believe it or not, even though I am courious, I am not obsessed. Also, I would not want anyone sending me mystery emails, so why the heck would I do that to someone else? Also, my H is deeply involved with the technology of pc's and the internet and I know that just about anything you do can be traced back to you. H first of all was like, "Why are you on a "A Support Board", you trying to tell me something?". Then, knowing me and how courios I am, he was fine, but was concerned that someone could possibly trace ME down for simply posting on the board...while highly unlikely, it is possible. ivillage certainly knows who I am, so if I was up to something truly underhanded and was suspect, I am sure I would get some warnings or something. Also Gurl, keep in mind, most of my interaction with you has been due to your willingness to correspond with me. One time, you even posted a message addressing me directly, so of course I'm thinking..."if she is willing to offer info, I am certainly willing to ask". But again, being suspicious of everyone (to some degree) is best for you and anyone else on these message boards. I checked out that website you all refer to, but can't really speak of on this board (the "watchgroup" for cheaters if you will). It does seem like there are plenty of folks out looking for info. It would be my guess that anyone set on your "demise" would solely be lurkers but not someone who actually interacts with you...some of that stuff is subject to potentially serious civil liability, so anyone up collecting info on you will probably remain as anonymous as possible.
I ask questions I consider "hard" because I really am courious to a fault. It can be annoying, but believe it or not, it is one of my strengths (and in cases like this, one of my faults).
<<<<>>>>
If you really feel my questions negate your R's for my own curiosity, then why not totally disregard them and not even respond to them at all, as I know many already do? My feelings won't be hurt and I will get the message if no one replies. But I am appreciative of when others do reply.
A's aside, I've learned so much from my own experiences as well as asking people many many questions on ALL sorts of things. I like to learn from others, what can I say. You may or may not understand and that is fine. I've made some decisions in my life that I am extremely happy with and I have my courious questions to thank for it.
As far as A's ARE concerned...A's are something that have baffled me. I just don't get it and when there is something I just don't get, I try and try until I do, or just don't care anymore. I mentioned something to this effect on another thread, so at the risk of being once again, "redundant"...I wonder what makes people put themselves through so much pain, and I wonder why they would want to cause so much pain (or potentially cause so much pain) to others. I've gotten different answers back from different people. I've learned in a nut shell that some people really just don't care and I have difficulty accepting that. "Notselfish" wrote a reply to me calling me a sad sad person, and I said to myself, "she is right, I am a sad sad person right now...not for the reasons she or others may be envisioning". I'm sad when I come to this site and try to make sense of it all. While I have compassion for what those who have been cheated go through, I apparently don't have the same level of compassion for many of those who have A's. I do have compassion for some who have been involved in A's who shared their individual circumstances with me and even thought, "wow, no wonder she had an A" But for others, there seems to be more of a selfishness about it. So yes, I come across as judging and someone with ulterior motives and so forth, and that was not my intention when I first came here...but digressed.
About judging...some level of judging is necessary in all aspects of life to be able to distinguish wrong from right. So while it may be wrong to come across as judging in one sense (i.e.my comments and questions), it is no more wrong than lying and so forth (in some cases it is the lesser of the two, but then again, that is the way I see it, others probably see it very differently).
That explains one of the reasons why I realize my interaction here is not the healthiest thing. Also, I am currently happily married, have not been where a BS is and have not had an A. Therefore, even though I found a "loop whole" so to speak to rationalize my interacting with the board, I really should not be interacting to the level I am, especially if things are not so complicated or depressing in my own life at present time. "Lucky" once said I have WAY too much time on my hands, and in essence, that meant I was not using my time wisely if I were interacting on the board (although H was on is pc right beside me...shaking his head at all I had gotten myself involved in with this board). So thanks for the clue Lucky. I really didn't need to spend my time here trying to make sense of something that would never make sense in my head (not at present time any way).
So, for those who were interested in my motives, there ya go....for those who don't care...fine, disregard. I still have my opinions and views (as I know everyone does)and I apologize if I upset anyone with them. I too am all for live and let live, peace, I have EXTREMELY liberal views, believe it or not. I guess for me, what good is all that if honesty, truth, and straight forwardness is lacking...these things are lacking somewhere where A's are concerned. But many of you tried to get me to understand that things are complicated and all. For those of you who interacted with me in any way, I thank you. I've learned something from you all. And no, this is not necessarily a parting message (Darn...too bad, right LOL)I will lurk once in a great while and possibly interact when something strikes me, but I will try to refrain from approaches that can be perceived as abrasive and offensive.
Pen
Edited 2/8/2004 4:44:34 PM ET by pensiveone
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
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