Is FRIENDSHIP possible after LOVE?
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Is FRIENDSHIP possible after LOVE?
| Mon, 09-08-2003 - 2:46pm |
If my MM and I have expresses that we fell in love but have not been physical with it---and plan on remaining that way---is it possible to maintain a friendship?
I have depression at times when I miss and need him near me and he has a hard time if I see other people. He says he knows it's selfish but the idea of another man touching me makes him sick. How can I let go of the fact that he will probably never leave and accept the time we CAN be together.....we make each other very happy when we are together.
I have depression at times when I miss and need him near me and he has a hard time if I see other people. He says he knows it's selfish but the idea of another man touching me makes him sick. How can I let go of the fact that he will probably never leave and accept the time we CAN be together.....we make each other very happy when we are together.

I don’t post here anymore, but something in your post bought tears in my eyes. I can see a person who is hurt and it breaks my heart to see so much unhappiness. I know where you are coming from, so been there and done that. I sense that feeling of heartache and sense of emptiness so very well.
I know its hard to be break it off completely (as in NC) after love has been mentioned, it has be done for a healthy break up. Time heals all and you will find that in time the pain is not so intense and engulfing as before. That heavy feeling in your heart will no longer be there, you will just remember the good times that you had together. It may help keep you away from the physical line too. If it was meant to be, it will be. Sometimes good things might happen when you least expect them. Keep strong and you can do it…..
{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}
but if you're trying to stay "friends" without expressing (either physically or emotionally) your love for this man, i would agree with the poster who said you should keep the R at work but on a civil, professional level. if he comes to your house (i believe you are single), you will not be able to maintain a "friendship" when your feelings run deep enough to be considered "love."
you'll have to give yourself (and him too) time to get past the deeper feelings of love and all that goes with it. time does heal all, but you must to maintain some distance and keep busy (in your case, dating would help even though your MM "can't stand the thought of another man touching you").
i'm sorry you are in pain, but if you want to remain friends with this man, you must be strong and distance yourself from him. he is obviously staying in his M and you're left to be alone and lonely while he has his W and children (if there are any). is that the life you want? it doesn't sound like it.
hang in there and keep us posted,
gurl