Frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Frustrated
12
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 7:47pm

Okay I realize I'm in a PA only, But its been two weeks and NC from AP.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
In reply to: scarletb2008
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 8:31pm
Welcome to the board! There will be many more stressful times in your A. They make you do a lot of "wondering". You did nothing wrong, that's just the way it goes. Be prepared for more. I have been in mine for almost 3 years and there are and will be many ups and downs. Just try to be patient, although I am not good at it all all, ha ha. What you're going thru is completely normal. They don't think like we do and don't realize that we "need" more contact. BTW, I am M and AP is S but all of the A's seem to go thru the same issues. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: scarletb2008
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 9:38pm

Hi Non thanks for the reply!


I'm not actually new to A land.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 9:54am
Just try to roll with it, Scarlet. Men do think way differently than women. A week or two with NC is not unusual. And if it's only a PA, I don't think you can expect much more than a booty call now and then. To keep yourself sane, distance yourself from the emotions. Of course, I know that's impossible if deep down, the PA means more to you than just sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 3:53pm

I'm right there with you. It really sucks to have to feel like you're going to jump through the roof every time the phone rings.


I am in such a terrible mood today. Haven't heard from him in almost a week now. I am dying for some contact here. I want to text him, but I won't. I am left wondering when I'll hear from him again. I'm also in a PA only. It sucks. When I hear from him again, I'll be all giggly and happy. It's disgusting and sometimes I really hate myself. I've been slamming things around all day in such a bad mood and I think it's only because I am so angry at myself for not being able to get over this.


You're not alone. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 4:15pm
I may be strange, but I actually enjoy NOT having contact with my AP every day! We will go several days -- up to a week-and-a-half, even
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 4:50pm

Hi all thanks for the replies!


I did hear from him today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 5:39pm
I know it's frustrating but I got fed up a long time ago and let him have it. Well, he didn't speak to me for a very long time and I was scared I had ruined it. He finally talked to me again and it has only gotten better. The way they see it, we are not in a real R and have no right saying anything to them about it. Be strong and hang in there. Vent all you want. It's too hard to keep it all in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 5:43pm
I'll admit something that sounds really silly but when he is ignoring my texts, sometimes I just ask random things to get a response, any response. I used to do it a lot because I am insecure and wanted reassurance that he still wanted me. I know now that he does so I don't do that so much anymore. Ridiculous, I know
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
In reply to: scarletb2008
Thu, 12-17-2009 - 9:11pm

That's okay, I use to instant message my XAP with non-sense stuff all the time, I wanted his attention and acceptance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: scarletb2008
Fri, 12-18-2009 - 9:17am

At the beginning of my A, I could feel myself getting emotionally attached very easily. I cried and cried for days when I hadn't heard from him for over a week after our second rendezvous. I was at the point of convincing myself that

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