I am a woman and in something like your R.An older woman whose H is bed ridden and cant satisfy my needs.I am not emotionally involved with my younger guy whose W is pregnant and he likes it wild.So, we are just helping each other out, lol!Keep your focus on what you are looking for then everything falls into place.It takes time to reach that point.
You can keep your emotions in check IF your need is only sex.Its not 'mechanical',hun.If its spicy and kinky ,there is hardly any time for emotions to play their role !
He is my 3rd man for the same reason.i dont lose focus which is i guess because of my age.
A FWB can and has worked for some, for even a number of years. The thing is, to have a successful one you have to be FRIENDS first. By definition then there will be feelings, but not romantic-I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you ones. Having some friendly feelings is good- it enables you to treat each other with respect, and to want what's best for one another. It does help keep things on a good, fun level between the two of you. Or so I've heard. :)
I've been in a FWB situation for about 5 years now. It actually has cooled off and we haven't had any "benefits" in over a year. But I just thought I'd share my experience. He was a long time friend, H's best friend and I met them together. I guess for years we had both wondered what it would be like and one night it just happened. Well, that's a lie, we planned it for quite awhile. We both agreed there would be no feelings involved and it would only happen once. I fell for him immediately but he pushed me away. I was on a horrible roller coaster with him for months, then I settled into it. I went along nicely for quite awhile. Keep in mind we didn't really have that many "benefits" (giggling) but we would have phone s*x quite a bit and hang out together a lot with H. A few years in, he ended up falling in love with me, and he helped me through a very emotional time. We became very close, but I am not in love with him. I care about him, and we occasional do the phone thing, but somehow through this we have worked out our feelings and we have a great relationship now. He'll tell me he loves me and I just don't respond and somehow he doesn't take that personally. So I guess you should be forewarned: you probably will develop some feelings for him but if you can handle those feelings properly it will improve the s*x and you may end up being great friends.
I am a woman and in something like your R.An older woman whose H is bed ridden and cant satisfy my needs.I am not emotionally involved with my younger guy whose W is pregnant and he likes it wild.So, we are just helping each other out, lol!Keep your focus on what you are looking for then everything falls into place.It takes time to reach that point.
You can keep your emotions in check IF your need is only sex.Its not 'mechanical',hun.If its spicy and kinky ,there is hardly any time for emotions to play their role !
He is my 3rd man for the same reason.i dont lose focus which is i guess because of my age.
Thanks for the insight, funky.
How do you handle the "sex without feelings" part?