Games

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Games
6
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 1:02am
MM and I have a more emotional and less physical kind of A. I can't deal with the guilt that follows any physical involvement. He's tried telling me that he feels he should go to a prostitute to get his needs met. LOL! His wife is beautiful and more than willing to have sex with him. Now we're going on day 3 of him giving me the cold shoulder and acting like I've hurt him deeply because I won't do more than hug. If I wanted to argue with someone, I'd start a conversation with my DH about money. :-) MM and I have been involved for about a year. I guess I'm still involved because we have had some great times together. We laugh and flirt and talk about our problems when there's no one else who will listen. I read somewhere that women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex. Maybe he's run out of patience with me not holding up my end of the "bargain". (I've never promised that I would ever have sex with him.) I don't know.... feeling confused. Maybe it's time to say goodbye.







iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
In reply to: ssum1special
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 7:42am
I feel for ya. It is hard to be with someone playing mind games with you all the time. Why would he change his mind if you both had decided it was a FWOB situation before? Maybe its time to say goodbye - because you don't see eye to eye anymore. Heard that song that say,"What good is an love affair when you cannot see eye to eye?" Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
In reply to: ssum1special
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 10:13am
I think you should sit down with him and ask when things changed for him, since they haven't changed for you. Perhaps hes trying to tell you something you aren't hearing yet. You know men, they can't just come right out and say whats on their mind to start with. Communication is the important part here. talk to him
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
In reply to: ssum1special
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 11:51am
What's FWOB stand for?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: ssum1special
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 12:03pm
hi special fwob friends without benfit that what that means hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
In reply to: ssum1special
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 12:18pm
Well, he's been pretty clear in communicating that he's interested in becoming more physical. He's tried everything from flowers to begging to force. We've "broken up" numerous times because we obviously want different things from this relationship. But we always wind up get in touch with each other.... things are great for a little while and then we have this power struggle again. This time feels different though. I guess it's because he's not a very good actor and it is very obvious that he's trying to manipulate me.

Last night we sat there for 20 minutes not saying a word to each other after he told me I don't care about him because I won't fool around. Then he wouldn't get out of my car. I actually started the car and drove to the supermarket, ran in and got the few things I needed. I drove him back to his car, still in silence. Then he asked for a hug. I gave him one and wound up pinned like a wrestler. I got out from under him after a bit of wrestling on my part and him laughing at how strong I am. His W called his cell to ask him where he was. He gave me a few very unreturned kisses. Finally I told him to get out. His response? "OK. Call me tomorrow." This is not a kid I'm dealing with. He's almost 20 years older than me and a respected, professional man. The older man is the one I'm in love with. This immature adolescent that he becomes is a real turn off. I know I should end it for good, but I also know that I probably won't. ????? Part of me is waiting to fall out of love with him so completely that I have no trouble walking away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
In reply to: ssum1special
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 1:49pm
Here is a link that explains all the abbreviations that are commonly used on this board. Also beware of posting too much personal info in this poublic board.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmyaffair&msg=33704.1&ctx=128

The link finally! :-)


Edited 11/16/2003 1:50:10 PM ET by opal_fire