Getting D and leaving name on mortgage??
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| Thu, 04-29-2004 - 11:00am |
Both of our names are on it. Three options - either A. sell the house, B. he refinances it to get me off of the loan, or C. I walk and just let him have it as is. I don't want the house. As much as I would love to have one, I don't need it. I need my life back. I want him to have it, and what little equity I have in it can go to him. But, with his income only, I don't know if he can qualify for the refinanace. On paper, he can pay the note no problem. He makes enough to do that. And, he really doesn't have any debt other than one credit card and his truck note. But, I don't know if they will approve him.
So, if that won't happen, I really don't want to sell. Don't want to have to worry about fixing it up, moving, etc. He might be able to go in on the refinance with his brother's income too if he moves in with him, but that is a long shot.
Then I was told that I could just walk. I don't think he would default, because anything he does would mess up me and also mess up him. So, I'm not worried about that. But, if I walk and just leave my name there, I won't be able to ever get financed for another house as long as that one is active. Getting financed for just about anything would be tough with a mortgage under my name. If he chose to sell it 5 years from now, would I have to come back and go through the closing with him?
Is there anyone out there with similar stories or with legal advice? I don't want him to lose this house due to my feelings changing about the M...especially since he still wants to reconcile. I just don't know if I walk to help him out in this aspect, if I will be crapping on myself in the process.
Thanks yall,
B

PG
My W is the most conscientious person I know so I have NO concerns about her defaulting on the loan at all. In fact, she is the main reason I have such flawless credit. I too am giving up equity in the house (primarily to get her to agree to the custody I want). And my kids will be living there with her half of the time so I'm comfortable with it.
But I guess I never considered when I am ready to buy a house. It probably won't be for 4-5 years, but when I get to that point, I assume she would refinance. I guess it all depends on how much trust you have in this person. Having children with my W and knowing her like I do, I don't have too many concerns. But I could see how problems could arise.
I actually talked to two mortgage lenders today - one company and one independent lender. Both seemed to think that he could get financed on his income alone because of his lack of debt. That made me feel much better and hopeful.
I'll keep you posted - I'm sure I'm not the only one going through these kind of questions...
Thanks yall, FMH6
This is what I wish I had done...I wish I had put conditions in our divorce decree which required him to refinance the home within X amount of time and sell the house if he couldnt comply, splitting the equity 50/50 with me. I also wish I would have put something in the the divorce decree which required him to pay me 50% of the equity at the time of the refinance due and payable upon the sale of the house...I think that would have been both fair and equitable to each of us. He wouldnt have had to cough up the dough until he sold the house and had the cash and I would only be entitled to 50% of the equity in the house at the point when I was no longer involved (using the appraisal at the time of refinance for a value). I know the value of the house would only continue to rise so I wouldnt expect 50% of the total equity only that which existed at my time of departure.
We all make poor financial decisions and this was one of mine...I walked away with next to nothing to start over from stratch. The one good thing about that is that I stood on my own two feet and have been able to build my life with my current husband from the ground up...the only thing is that I can think of MANY places for that $15,000 to go right now since my EXH just sold the house...
Consult with your attorney for a reasonable answer that will work out well for both of you, just remember that no amount of money is worth your sanity and happiness and if walking away is what you choose to do, dont look back, just move forward!
Liberal
Get a lawyer, make arrangements and agreements in writing, and then sign your part of the house away. Don't give it away for absolutely nothing!
If your name is already on one mortgage, do you think you'll be able to sign for another? Maybe you will, but I know that in my situation, I almost couldn't sign for my car loan because I had the mortgage payment (which my ex paid) plus my other bills and didn't show the income for it all to buy the car!
Refinance again, spend the money now, make any arrangements you need to, and get your name off the mortgage. No, she probably won't default, but it's just one less thing for you to have hanging out there on your financial records....
Trust me! Just did it last year - and on the advice of both my attorney and CPA got my name off. I paid for this bit of information - you guys can benefit, okay?!
I guess in my situation, things are tenuously positive and I don't want to interject any negativity into it unless I need to. I will definitely have her refinance when I am ready to buy my next home down the road. It will probably be 4 to 5 years before that point anyway. But again, my D will probably go much more smoothly than most. We literally have agreed on just about everything. I appreciate what you're saying about getting your share of the money from the equity. But my circumstances dictate otherwise. I'm willing to sacrifice my share of that and our savings (grand total of about $40,000) in order to make my kids' lives easier. They will be able to stay in the same house and they will have almost equal time with each parent. And I won't be paying child support either (just so you don't think I'm ignoring financial things). Just wanted to give you the details on my situation and why I'm doing what I'm doing.