Getting a love nest,,,,,,,,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Getting a love nest,,,,,,,,
3
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 3:07am

After almost 3 wonderful years, my AP and I started talking of renting a 1bdr place. I already bought a bed and have a storage unit. We work together, but our business doesn't always allow us to spend time together. We met online when I was a stay at home Mom and he waas working, with plenty of time on his hands. We spend every moment we can together. It's a true love, long past the excitement part of an A for both of us. We never thought it would be love at first sight. He has even flown to another city when I drove to a neighboring state to visit a friend.


My Marriage was emotionally over before the wedding. I'm now divorced with a consentual divorce. My AP was married in the Catholic church and fears his children will be neglected. he doesn't even believe in the church. He would like to be with me, but has fears and obligations. I admire that his children come first.


We want to be together without looking over our shoulders anymore. Our bisiness depends on sales and I want to be sure we have every cent to not break our lease. I also don't know if this is the first step to him leaving his W. She doesn't keep the house clean, or prepare dinner. The children are forced to eat fast food for 90% of their meals.I'm just the opposite of his W.


Am I making a good decision to rent a place in my name? I am committed to him and would accept an engagement if the circumstances are right. Is it too early to get a place together. I don't want our relationship to be destroyed. He is a wonderful man to accept my disability and be by my side thru an accident that almost took my life. I'm still trying to get my health in order after 2 years. He even sat by my side when I had my hystorectomy and never left my side, but to go home and sleep. we worked from my bed, with supervision from my parents, who think we are just business partners :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 9:10am

Welcome to MAS outofsorts!

I'm not sure I'm understanding something. If you're divorced, why do you need another place? Is it because there's never any privacy at your place? It just seems like a lot of money to spend if you already have a place you could be together.

That said, if you really think you do need another place, I see nothing wrong with it. Today I think few people choose to do that because of the expense, but if you can handle that, go for it. I can see why it should be in your name, if he's the married one.

I knew about a couple that did this once. I didn't know the couple, but a relative of mine lived in another apartment of a 4 family home. It was the talk of the place that the little one bedroom on the first floor had a couple who was only there sporadically in the daytime. Once in a great while they would stay overnight. Sometimes you'd smell food cooking, and needless to say, they kept to themselves, just nodding to neighbors on the way in or out LOL.

But I wouldn't think that this was the first step of him leaving his wife. If anything, it will make his current situation all the nicer, it won't be anything to motivate him to leave, IMO.

Keep us updated!

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 10:23am

I forgot to mention that my X lives in the spare room. He doesn't want to be away from our children. I am just getting back to work. I'm disabled, but can work part time. My X will be getting a raise soon, but he still wants to be with the kids. I live on Social Security. My AP and I will split the costs, but my X would go running to his W if he found both of our names on it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Mon, 04-19-2010 - 2:09pm

My X wants to rent apartments near each other now that he knows of my pllans to have a place for my AP and I to go. I don't want the children to have to move out of the only home they have ever known. He assured me that he would not share this information as I need to remain on his insurance so I can have the last 3 surgeries.


I did find out that he moved out because he met a stripper and she strung him along. He does want to talk about the apartment situation. He said the only way he will stay in the house, my dream home, is if I cut off all communication with my AP and we go to marriage counselling and really make it work this time.


I love my AP. I married my H b/c I was 18 and knew that my family loved him and thought he would treat me right. I suffered abuse as a child and he emotionally abused my often. If I break up with my AP, he will be devistated. He has already started making financial arrangements to split their assets in the family trust. He wants to marry me when the time is right. He already started looking at rings.


Now, I'm torn. My X pawned my rings to visit the stripper. I don't know that he is worthy. We haven't had sex b/c of a back injury I suffered. That's when he started going to the nude strip club 3-5 nights a week.


My AP is kind, generous, loving, comes to my side whenever I need him (I have seziures). He is in tune with my feelings,