Getting scared...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Getting scared...
2
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 11:00am
O.K. Ladies,

Last time I checked in, MM was going away & I was not going to get to see him for 11 DAYS! Well, I get to see him tomorrow. Here is the getting scared part. I am scared that now that he has been away from me for so long, compiled with the fact that the whole time he has been away from me has been quality time with his W & kids - that he will no longer want to continue the A. I know it seems silly to want to hang on to something so badly that will always be just a side thing (for several reasons) I know I said I would just ride it out (no pun intended) unitl the end, but I am not ready for the end yet. For the regulars who have kept up & am currently in the process of spliting up with my long time SO, we wanted to stay together through the holidays & until our house sold. Well, it sold we close on 1/15/03. MM makes me happy - just having the attention makes me happy. I think having him could really help me through the difficult time I have ahead of me. I stil love my SO, but our gols for the future are vastly different. I made the decision to walk away.

So, to the point...have any of you been through this before? We (MM & I) have only been doing what we are doing - I would not say together- it is not that committed- for a few months now.

And advice or thoughts are, as always, appriciated.

Thanks.

Kitty

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 11:14am
Hi kitty

I would be willing to bet that he missed you and is probably dying to see you. I have been through this before. I know it can be torture! My MM spent a month away with his family a while back (we were only together for a few months at the time as well) and I remember worrying about whether he would change his mind when he returned; it turned out to be the opposite, and I think it made us closer in a way. It definitely made me feel better about us when all was said and done.

Good luck with the closing of your home, reorganizing of your life, etc. Must be tough.

Liked your unintended pun, by the way!!

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 11:21am
Thanks Char. I know I missed him like crazy. I hope he missed me too. Not enough to interfere with his family time of course, when I went into this I promised myself I would never do anything to take him away from his family.

As far as the restructuring of my life, I think it will go as smoothly as possible. i know logistically it will be smooth. But the emotional is a different story. I will ust pray for strength. The supportive thoughts are a great help though.

Thanks again!

Kitty