Girls I need advice ASAP!!!

Avatar for megan1012
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Girls I need advice ASAP!!!
5
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 11:45pm
Ok my story: Ive been seeing this guy for about 3 months he was m but left his w in july I became pregant in july i am m with 2 kids. I thought i was going to leave dh but we were able to work things out but i have keep contact with mm and have seen him ect. well he invited me and my kids to the fair this weekend and i said ok well when i meet him to give him our stuff he says i know dont do anything stupid or kiss you and i was like what he said there is a guy over there taking pics of us. GREAT!! Well it was a p.i. while the guy was in the woods mm walks over to his car parked on the other side of road and he said there was a puter n papers and camerea bag on the seat. well when mm got his son to go to the fair the son tells him mommy has pics of my liitle boy on her puter and has been questing there son about everything. So now i dont know what to do she has a pi watching him and i dont need h finding out about this crap. I want to end it but mm is saying he will make a scene with my h and i really dont need that..ANy advice???


Edited 10/7/2003 10:51:25 AM ET by megan1012
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 11:31am
Megan,

sounds like you got involved w/the wrong man. Tell him you want to cool things off for a little while until his W gets the PI out of the pic. Another question - Are you sure it's not your H's PI? Just something to think about.

Laugh Smiles

Avatar for megan1012
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 3:54pm
Hi there no its not my h because mm son told him that his mommy asked him about my son and my sons pic was on the puter screen so i know its not h. If it was my h what would she being down with a pic of my son on her puter?
Avatar for megan1012
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 10:49am
just bumping this to see if anyone else has any ideas on the best way to end this...Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 11:04am
Tell him it is over, if that is what you want. If you want to continue in the relationship, then tell MM you need to step back for a while until things settle down. This will give you the opportunity to find out what if anything the PI has given W and what she will do with it. If the PI does have some incriminating pics of you and MM, then be prepared to deal with your H finding out. I doubt W will keep the info to herself. It's kind of scary that MM is threatening you to make a scene with your H if you end it. That alone would make me want to call things off.

Either way, it looks like there may be a fallout from this so be prepared.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-08-2003 - 2:09pm
megan, i agree with saatty on this one. you must tell MM that you want to back off the relationship for awhile to let this situation cool down. i would not tell him you want to "end" the R just yet because he is obviously using threats to keep you in line and on the hook.

just let him know you are not seeing him when someone is following the two of you around taking pictures and that he needs to deal with the situation from his end. after all, it is his W who is causing the situation. tell him to deal with the problem now and you'll talk about the A later.

just use a little tact when talking to him. then gradually ease yourself away from him. answer his phone calls, but tell him you're busy with kid, work, H stuff. if you cut off all contact with him right away, he sounds like he'll go over the edge.

and who knows what his W will do if MM acts stupidly. be prepared for the possibility of your H finding out. but unless those pics show you in a "compromising" position (i.e. sexual) I would deny the A and say you were just friendly, that he is obviously having marital troubles and you were being a friend and lending him a shoulder to cry on.

DO NOT ADMIT ANYTHING, ever!

just my advice,

gurl