To go on vacation with AP, or not? That is the question....
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|Wed, 11-13-2013 - 5:51pm|
Hello MAS Board- its been a while, though I've been lurking and reading. =0) Super quick catch up- I've been in an A for about 9 months now. We are super compatible, pretty much in love (I say " pretty much, though as Ill describe below, I've got doubts creeping in), are fortunate enough to be able to spend weekends together, entire days, etc. We make time for each other, and our respective partners don't know about the A.
In the beginning, it was very heady, and I thought "this is the man I want to grow old with, I've foudn him after 48 years." He voiced the same sentiment, but when it came right down to it and I told him I was going to leave my partner, he came out and said he couldn't dissolve is 20+ year marriage. Chagne of tone, big time. Then the story became that he wanted to be in an open relationship where she outwardly knew about our relationship, etc. Not sure if that's for me, as I do think I really want a full-time, primary partner with whom I share a strong love. If that's not goign to be him, its someone else.
So about 6 weeks ago we decided to spend a week in Hawaii together. Bought plane tix, paid a LOT of money for a place to stay, planned on attending this retreat together. Now I'm seriously doubting our future, and so also seriously doubting the wiseness of a week together in Hawaii. Do I tell him I don't want him to come, and find a way to pay him back the money he's paid out? Do I simply suck it up and see if we can have a nice time for that week, with no expectatins? I'm really going back and forth on almost an hourly basis.
Anyone have some good ideas to share?
BTW, I think his wife *must* know something is going on, even if she doesnt' openl admit it. But whatever, that's not my concern.