Going out of town with MM - nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Going out of town with MM - nervous
11
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 4:06pm
I am so nervous...I am suppose to meet my MM today so we can have an entire weekend for us. For some reason I am so nervous, well it would be our first time. He called me this morning to make sure I was ok...of course I said yes. I saw him online and he did not seem happy about it...I did ask him if he was sure if he wanted me to go he said of course. Im like I dont want to go if I am not wanted .. he just said ur wanted.

His W I believe called me today at work...I think she suspects becuase she wanted to go with him and he told her NO...he said you never come with me y now. Good thing is she has to work this weekend. Anyhow she asked for me when she called I always have my called screened and she gave his name...the receptionist said hey MM on the phone actually she said his name not MM...and I said oh thx...she was like no girl its a woman...I was like crap...I said send it through but she hung up. I called my MM right away he said dont worry about it...Im like OK.

I dont know I am just so nervous...I believe he is too...I really want to go and make the best of it.

I just dont know.

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Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 5:08pm
Hi, you really..really need to be careful here. She MUST suspect something to call you and then hang up. I could see where you would be scared, I got scared just by reading the post..lol. Are you married too? I could see how you would want to go, I'd give 'almost' anything to have a whole weekend with my MM. Good Luck and hopefully your MM has all of his bases covered. Be sure to let us know how it goes!

ARH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 5:20pm
Prettyribbon,

Well thank you...for ur kind words...I am so nervous about the hold thing. She has been on us for a while now. I am not married I do have a 7 yr old son. She called me several months ago on my cell phone asked what was going on with her H...I said you know what he is a very nice man and I think u need to take it up with him. She was like im so sorry to bother you - if he finds out I call you he will be mad at me...I told her not to worry. FIGURE THAT OUT. I did tell my MM and asked him not to say anything to her I did not want any problems between them. Anyhow as time passed she has been doing her homework and has my phone numbers at work and cell and home...she even knows where I live becuase it was strange...I picked up my MM from the gym and took my car to my house...next thing I know Im like hey babe isnt that ur truck...going down my street he was like noooo...im like hello those are ur plates...sure enough it was her...I turned around and took him back to his car. According to him she has asked him what do I have that she doesnt, and if I made more money then her (which i dont) and asked if I bought him gifts (which i dont) - Her problem is she is a very nice woman but extremely needy...cant do anything for herself. She calls him maybe 50 times with 3 hours that we are together...everytime...he does not answer...just once in a while. And of course there is the lack of sex...she does not satisfy him.

I still want to go...but dont know I think more of anything im scared of a letdown that he tells me he cant go and break my heart. If thats the case I will back off becuase I cant have this. Thank you so much for listening and writing back to me. Maybe its just me being nervouse but he does not sound as excited as he did yesterday...I know he played it off but I think he got nervous I told him she called me.

Some people just dont understand.

Thx - Sandy



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 5:38pm
Hi Sandy,

It sounds to me like your MM is putting his W through hell. Is he trying to get her to be the one that walks out? Or is he just that insensitive to her feelings? What is your MM's take on this?

I don't think the trip out of town will jeopardize your A, because clearly, she already knows that he is having an affair.

An angry W sounds scary to me and I wouldn't want to be the target of drive-bys and hang-ups...if he is trying to push his W over the edge, it sounds like he is on the right track. You may feel sheltered from any such attacks, but if I were you, I'd be careful.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh,

Alameda

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 6:02pm
When red flags go up ...pay attention....follow your gut feeling on this...theres always another time
Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 8:06pm
This is how I look at it, if his W is needy or going through 'whatever' it is she's going through...(I'm sure he did cause it) but that's HER problem. I mean why does she put up with it??? In other words....I don't feel sorry for her. My MM wife is the SAME way, constantly calling him etc., AND she did confront me back in 1991 when we had our first affair (we stopped and it's just started again). I mean if I were that insecure with a man it just wouldn't be worth it to me...and I know that sounds strange, since he IS cheating...lol., but that's just me anyway. I don't feel sorry for her one bit. He may not sound as exciting as before because he's probably nervous too...since HE is the one that's married. It probably has nothing to do with not wanting to be with you or he would probably just say so. Anyways, I totally understand...I know you are still dying to go but just scared and he probably feels the same way. Remember though like another poster said there's always a next time. You know her better than any of us, and whether it's in her nature to 'attack' or not, then again even when it's not in a person's nature sometimes emotions overtake a person...so be extra careful with everything you do!! At least you aren't married too and having that to worry about (I do) anyways, let us know!! I'll be thinking about you hoping everything goes well and even super!!

ARH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 9:32pm
Sandy,

So what did you decide??? I"m dying to know!

What is it Dr.Phil says, Theres no victims here only volunteers! If these MM's W's knew they are cheating and they don't do anything about it, then they are allowing it, my MM has cheated on his w for many years, she knows, so she's letting him as far as i'm concerned... and why did your MM's W ask if you made more money.. who the heck cares!! I know its a big thing for my MM (although he'll never admit it) that his W makes a lot of money, she makes like 40k more then he does and I don't even work, i'm a stay at home mom, so although my MM always says it doesn't matter i think it does.. they have a nanny, are able to go where ever when ever because he is really good with their money, and they have a really nice house. But I know mm isn't happy with her for many reasons.

Will MM's w know where you'll be staying? Does he have to give her the # or can she just call his Cell? When MM and I went to Vegas, which was a short short trip, he was so excited and I was so nervous, I was like what if the plane crashes, and I don't ever see my kids again and they find out mom died while with her lover on some randevou (sp?) But it was worth it.! =)

ttyl

hugs!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 3:19pm
Well went and made it back...I LOVED every bit of our weekend!!

I was nervous till he picked me up after that I felt safe. You had me laughing when I just read your message...how funny!! Yea all crazy thoughts but at the end most of the time turns out good...when did you go to vegas with him??

We had a blast we had so much fun...and yes she knew where we were at...she called him on his cell phone 50million times and mine about 1/2 that...but oh well...he told her he did not want to talk to her...now this is not him telling me this...i heard him telling her that...but she seemed to ignore it and keep calling finally a few times he just had to turn the phone off...and i did too...it was our time to be together....

We really opened up...he said he was in love with me...I said how about your W he was like I love her she is the mother of my baby...but not in love with her...and he said I finally came to the conclusion..im going to do what makes me happy...he said and thats you...he promised things would only get better once he got the job which his interview is today and im crossing my fingers!! She makes great money and he said she has taken care of my other two girls..which I do give her that...but im not happy with her...she is opposite then me....she is way beyond needy....

So whats up with you???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 5:43pm
yeah.. How cool that you went with him!! I'm so excited for you... sounds like you had a great time! WHat happened with his interview? LIke Levi Guy says, he should do what makes him happy, lifes too short!

we went to vegas last summer, He begged me to go with him, and I was like.. NO way, but at the last minute I decided to go. It was totally worth it. He keeps telling me he wants to do it again sometime... I would in a minute.!

Sorry it took me so long to respond, I haven't been online much with my H home and this post got lost somewhere down below. I wish you had AIM (aol instant messanger) so we could chat, can you download it on your puter? its free.. or will H freak out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 10:26am
I bet that was fun going to Vegas...how did you get away from you H???

It is nice to get away and have him all yours for a weekend or a few days if that!

I cant wait till we go again...well he got the job and I thought it was so sweet I was the first one he told...he is so excited...im very happy for him. He was like finally I can have my own spending money...he was like I cant wait till my first paycheck...we are going out to celebrate!! I mean he has money she makes very good money and he is also in the reserves but not enough to be splurging...its funny he is already making plans about going to basketball games, and football games...he was like you can meet me there after work!! Its nice to hear that - im actually wanted - but you know words dont mean as much as actions we shall see!!

I dont have AOL..I have yahoo messenger at work...do you have that??? If not email me at TXSandy_98@yahoo.com if you do have messenger thats my ID...TXSandy_98.






iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 10:29pm
Hey Sandy,

YIPPEEEEE sounds like great news for you 2~~!!

Well, when we went to Vegas I had a girlfriend cover for me! I was only gone barely 24hrs and I called him a couple of times and he knew I needed a break from kids and life around here so he actually didn't even call me, so it worked out well. The time was way too short and It was that time of the month for me so it wasn't all that romantic, but we had a great time, and made the best of it. I can't wait to do it again. MM's W is supposed to go out of town 2 times in Aug. I can't wait! MM finally left me a message today.. I had left him one saying.. "r u mad at me" and he left me one saying.. why would I be mad at you hmmmmmmmmm??? well last night I called his cell (again, big no no) and it didn't even rang but his W picked it up and I hung up.. it was like 12:30am and I figured he'd be asleep and I could leave him a message, or if it rang I would just hang up, but it didn't even ring and then she answered... it totally irritated me to hear her voice. I can't stand this woman (me and her have our own lil issues) So LOL it's kinda funny, I don't know if I'll admit it was me or not. LOL

It's nice to know Your MM is thinking of you, and wants to make plans for the future... it makes you feel good huh! I don't have yahoo messenger, I suppose I could get it.. H freaks whenever he sees yahoo on the puter cuz I used to have a yahoo account that I emailed MM from, and H found out. GRRRRRRRRRR!!

anyway, hope all is good with you, and I'll talk to you soon, H is off for a few days. =( so see ya soon

Lexy

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