Good Morning Sunshines.....

Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Good Morning Sunshines.....
15
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 11:08am
I hope that you all are having a glorious day:) I'm just waiting on the time to pass. The H and I are heading out this afternoon to see Dream/Angle and her H. I was supposed to see MM but I have to blow him off. He's not going to be happy but he'll get over it. However,we have plans for our little hotel and naps on Monday. So I;ll make it up to him:):) NMR

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Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 1:44pm
I try! MM tells me all the time that I'm giving and generous:) LvYa and wish you were here too. I am so bored today:( I'm sitting here watching the clock on my computer and surfing other sites. Trying to get some ideas for my trip in January:) NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 2:48pm
pony, i just do it, you know. i have a very hectic life, working, social events, my children, BF, tons and tons of friends, girlfriends and now the holiday prep stuff too! and i'm involved with all of them. so when i feel myself starting to get more needy than i'd like, or MM is not quite as attentive, i just put my energies into all the other aspects of my life. and i will NOT chase MM, that's his job, not mine!! i please and appreciate him when we are together and NEVER put any pressure on him or our R.

and i really have an improved relationship with BF - since he became a little suspicious of MM earlier this year, BF has come to the conclusion he better try harder with me or he could be alone again. so over the course of this year, some of our issues have been resolved and our home life is much, much better. MM, on the other hand, is feeling less and less wanted by his W and he's become much more interested in discussing our future. a future i don't feel we will have. i just won't play into his discussions. the "what if" scenario is just not something i want to think about.

keep yourself busy and distract your MM thoughts by doing things for yourself - reading a great book, seeing a chick flick, getting a manicure, whatever! and do stuff with the kids and H. that's what i do. it works.

good luck,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:15pm
Thanks, Gurl, but I'm already doing all that and it still doesn't seem to help. I guess the bad part is the last time we talked he sorta blamed me for being a "leak" and we haven't been able to talk since to resolve everything and right now he hasn't returned my calls and I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling. We both know this is really more than an A, it's become deeper and I have seriously considered leaving H for MM, but I can't make any kind of move until I know how he's feeling. Every day I tell myself I won't call him, but I always do, and end up with wither v/m or a very short conversation that leaves me more frustrated than I was before the call. I'm having some minor surgery next week, too, of the female variety, and we won't be able to have sex for about a week or so after, so I want some time with him, like yesterday, just to release all my pent up feelings, not verbally, but sexually, which I can't do w/H because honestly the sex with him isn't as good. I'm trying, and I'm going to go sit down with my book in just a short while and try not to think about him (like that'll happen!). I just have to make myself ignore all my thoughts of him. Wonder if I can...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:34pm
okay, pony, here's my next shot -- you cannot leave your M for MM, you must leave only for yourself. if you do decide the M is over, then live alone for at least 6 months and date your man. get to know yourself first and then plight your trough to him later. take time just for YOU!!

as for your brain (oh, all those uncontrollable thoughts whirling around and around!!), whatever happened with the "leak" situation, MM needs to stop placing blame. it's an excuse anyway because he doesn't want to deal with his trust issues. whatever, freakin' ever! tell him (when you talk to him, that is!) to stop it and just be honest with you about how he's feeling about you and the R.

sorry you're having that surgery -- and the week before christmas, yikes!! just take care of yourself and get your health back. a sexual vacation will just make you hornier when you do see your MM.

and get outta your head! he'll be back to you soon.

take care honey,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 6:34pm
Thanks, Gurl! I have had a semi-decent weekend, both my kids had birthdays this weekend so it was full of birthday stuff and that kept me busy, plus I just decided to try my best not to think about him and for the most part I've succeeded. The problem is, he lives very near me, and I know when he's home and when he's not and I have to drive past his house to get anywhere, which I can handle, but then today I go to the friggin' grocery store and I run into his Mom, for heaven's sake! So you see, there are constant reminders every where! I've decided to tell him tomorrow, one way (by phone or in person) or another (v/m)that I am tired of being ignored and I would appreciate honesty and his telling me where I stand and if he wants to end things, he could at least give me the courtesy of telling me to my face instead of totally ignoring me. I think (and hope) you're right that he'll be back soon, but I have to prepare myself for the possibility he won't. I'll let you know if I live happily (!) ever after!!!

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