Good time for a "roll call"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Good time for a "roll call"
52
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 8:32am

For one thing, we've lost some posters and gained some posters lately. It's a good time to remind everyone of our stories.

And secondly, if we're going to have a few days of "read only", a roll call thread will be a good one to read! :-)

It would be especially nice if some lurkers jump in here with us and join our group.

I'm Lexi, and I'm the CL, or community leader, of MAS. I'm a MW involved with a single guy and we're coming up on our 12th anniversary soon. I'm in a very calm, smooth sort of A where there is little drama, lots of talking and friendship, and yeah, sex. This is not my first A, I have had 2 others previously. My first one was when I'd been married for 15 years, and it was a pretty intense love affair with a single guy. I broke that one off after about 1½ years because I honestly felt like I was holding him back from finding someone of his own. My second one was a "rebound" A to distract myself from ending the first, and he was single, and a total player/sociopath. That one was sort of off and on for 1½ years before I let it dwindle away and die. He actually kept coming back after that and I just said no way - in a gentle way, because you don't want to anger a sociopath. Sometimes I recognize people's APs here as sociopaths but it's so hard to convince anyone that that is the case - until it's too late and their lives are ruined. My present A is sort of FWB but we certainly have feelings for each other. I have many complicated reasons I stay with my OM now when I left my first single other guy because I felt I was "holding him back". In this case I would feel like I was abandoning my OM if I broke it off - it's just a different situation.

So jump in with your story - looking forward to reading it!

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 7:57am
Alive - I've been thinking about you and wondering how things were going! Keep us updated sweetie...

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 8:48am

I am a MW for 17 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 1:06pm

MW....M nearly 20 yrs, and for the most part M was good. There was a long period of time where I thanked my lucky stars daily for being M to my best friend. Life stressors in the past 4 yrs or so have taken a toll. Add on top that I have grown/changed and H and I just seem to be in very different places. He is mostly content w/ life as is...I, on the other hand, became restless.



Enter AP. He's M almost the same amount of time. We hit it off immediately, became GREAT friends, admitted to each other an attraction within a month...and away we went. Had sex one time (the only time...) about three

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 1:15pm
Hello All. I have posted a bit here and there over the past couple weeks, and I had also been here and EAS several months ago (now have a new member ID). I am a 14 yr MW in an A with a MM. We met on AM about 1 1/2 years ago...we both were on there out of mostly curiosity and knowing something was missing in our M. My H is a good man, truly, however I feel as if I had lost the love for him well before I met AP. AP also has a good wife and M. We connected on many levels and unexpectedly fell in love. We longed to be together always but knew our commitments would not let that ever happen...emotions were high and we became less cautious in many ways and it ended abruptly with a dday. It was horrible to say the least...and I hate to say that it was not horrible because of the guilt I felt because of what I did, but because our A was over and I missed him tremendously. I think that at that time (and I would most likely say it now also), I would have ended my M for AP. My H and I went through (and continue to) very rocky times as his emotions ran the gammit. Dday was found out through suspicions and phone records...AP's W was clueless (at the time)-that is until I wrote her a letter. So anyhow, about three months went by and we ran into each other at the mall. Short version...we tried reconnecting as just friends (at least that is all he wanted and could do) but that attempt has failed several times. He has changed in that he states that back then he acted very selfishly and wants to be very cautious with our R so it does not get out of hand again. The last separation was very hard due to some of the things he said to me regarding his guilt, his family, his future, his and my painful feelings, how he cant do this to me anymore, etc. Well, here we are once again...R on for almost two months now. I am still in love with him as much as I was the first time around and I am constantly fearful of it ending once again. There are no reassurances and this cycle we are in at the time can be painfully emotional...especially since he pulls away when he feels himself and the situation getting somewhat ungrounded. I can sense when it happens and it's an awful feeling deep in my "gut". But, I choose this as we all make these choices regardless...At this time, I only think it would be more painful without him in my life. I know the EASers would not agree with that!
So, thank you so much for this board and all who participate in sharing and show their much needed care and support :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 3:18pm
Aha...another Ashley Mad alumni. I met my current AP there, lol. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 3:32pm

I'm a MW in a A for the past 16 mths with a MM.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 3:39pm
Yes...as much as I really don't like to admit that sometimes!...There are many "shady" individuals on there for sure. Your welcome
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 7:10pm

Hello everyone,

I'm a MW (married for way too long)in a A with a MM (kids for both of us) for awhile? lol....I don't know? We met online fall of 09 and it went PA Spring of 10. I say that because I had a previous AP when I met my current AP in 09. So, we talked on and off awhile but I wouldn't count it as a EA or PA until Spring of 10.

Soooo...I guess you would say I'm a AshleyMadison girl, but I used another site for my last two A's..All in all I have had 4 A's. I hate to say that....I'm really not that type of person if anyone were to meet me in real life. I'm one of those replace a AP with another AP types...yeah, BTW that's not good advise don't do it. And this is my absolute last A! I think I have come to the conclusion that I'm way too strong willed, over the top and mouthy to make a proper mistress.lol And well, the wife thing is not working out too well either. I need about 3 months on a island by myself.lol

Where am I at now? Well, we have been PA for about 6 months and I have come to the conclusion that's about the shelf life for these crazy non-relationships that are real to only us. Okay so I think the elephant in the room that neither of us will talk about is that emotions are getting involved.

I lost it on him last week, partly because he is "well off" and loves to talk about his "things" and how much money is made between him and his wife and the trips he goes on...and blah blah blah...So I ask you kind board...WTH! Why does he need me?...he also has a sex life with his wife...so again why am I the chosen one? (oohh yeah! I'm the side dish to his otherwise perfect life!!) And why do I want to hear about it? I don't!! Good for him. Yay!!! leave me out of it. I don't need to know somethings...one of them is anything about his life with his wife. When we are on "us" time, I want it to be about us. Okay! see where I'm a crappy mistress comes in.lol

So surprisingly when I go off the deep end on him, he apologizes, says he sorry didn't mean to hurt me, doesn't look down on me, wants me to be happy, cares about whats going on in my life, he was up half the night worried...So the question is does he mean it? Or is he saying the necessary things to keep me on the hook? Is he getting emotional? I guess if I'm getting upset then yes I'm getting emotional, but he didn't flat out end it when I got mad...(I had that happen with a xap) so I think we are moving past just a FWB No Strings type agreement. Do I want that? IDK? I do like him, he likes me...We are full of...Like! HA! Okay I purged happy reading.

Scarlet

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:42pm
HI everyone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 8:11pm