Greeneyesofblue's response to Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Greeneyesofblue's response to Karen
13
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 9:54am
re: Feeling guilty and bad today....



I feel its a very pathetic approach when any body who disagrees with a particular situation is made to run away. I see that happening on the betrayed board where God forbid any OW posts an opinion to a question, the spy group will spot her and shoo her out. I see the same thing happening over here. I see most of the people making the comment "don't judge". Do you really not "judge" and "project your situation on somebody else" when one person complains about their marriage and you apply your experiences and tell them that things won't improve or something is definitely wrong in their primary relationship. Sometimes people do need a swift kick in the butt to open their eyes and let them see what really is the truth. Lets be a little more open here and invite others opinions and stay away from the cliches such as "We will support you whatever your decision is" and shooing anybody who doesn't. Try telling that cliche to a person pondering jumping over a cliff.

Let the board remain democratic and not a dictatorship.

PG



Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 12:14pm
Just so we are clear, I NEVER suggested Karen return to an unhappy marriage. I suggested she go and get her babies. I am sorry if you disagree with my method of offering advice..But I must liken it to grabbing someone that is about to step in fromt of a bus. I do not choose to stroke anyone when I think something is terribly terribly wrong. I haven't even chosen to respond to ANY of the posts I have read on this board while lurking. I don't feel comfortable sharing my story in it's entirety, but I will say that I am raising 2 children, in addition to my own, that are the victims of a similar circumstance. They are my Step-Children. No matter how united a family we are, how integrated they are in our family, how well adjusted, and fine and happy they are...doing well in school...bla bla bla....no matter how wonderful, loving, supportive and capable their father is, which he is, they were left by their mother who decided she wanted a different life with a different man. No matter how "involved" and "there" at anytime thier mother is.... I am the one that sees these children wince when my own child throws his arms around me and says.."I love you Mommy". I am the one who takes the babies to counseling so that they may better understand why their mother "doesn't want them anymore" and regarless of it's true or not...that is how they feel, right or wrong. I don't want to go into this any further...but my concern for Karen is genuine. No matter how much I love my step kids, which I do tremendously, there is no substitution in the world for their mommy.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 12:57pm
Green

I totally agree with you! However Karen never said once in her post that she left them to live strictly with their father so she could be with another man. I think what happened is that while her DD was with her dad her tooth fell out and she wasn't there to be the tooth fairy. I feel for your step children, no parent, male or female should abandon their children to go live with someone else. Karen and her ex I assume from what I have read are working out living arrangements, and like someone else posted, they must be doing an adult job of it because her x at least had her DD call her with the great news.

Karen's grief shows that she is not abandoning her children, she is just in an adjustment period and will work it out.

deedee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 1:38pm
Brilliantly put deedee. I concur completely.

Pages