Guilt creeping in...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Guilt creeping in...
7
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 9:33am
I don't know...maybe it's because I sent my kids off for their first day of school this morning (pictures, hugs, and making family memories), or because I haven't seen MM for a while (we've also had limited email and phone contact - he's been busy), but I am feeling extremely guilty and confused about this A. I didn't feel any guilt at all until now, and it's suddenly creeping in on me. Anyone else ever feel this way? Did you continue your A or end it? Right now, I don't think I can continue. Wow, I didn't expect this.

 

Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 9:46am
It's funny you should post this, because I was sitting here thinking the exact same thing. I've seen MM and talked to him all day yesterday and nothing is wrong in that area "at the moment" but...there are times I just wonder how I can keep doing this? I'm not sure...is it guilt? << Cause, to be honest...I'm not sure I've actually felt that yet. I know sometimes I look at my kids and I just think what am I doing? Is this natural...do any of you ladies feel like this also at times...even when everything seems to be going great? Funny thing is, I know when the phone rings and I hear him on the other line...all of this I'm feeling will just fade away, gee...I hope I'm not the only one feeling so crazy!!

PR

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 10:17am
good morning charlotte. those everyday reminders of your home life are bringing on that attack of the "guilts". but as soon as you speak with (or email with) your MM, those thoughts go right out the window. seems like you have too much time to think about the EMA. keep yourself busy and distracted. start a project at home or at work, if you work. i know, i know, being a homemaker is work. been there, done that with 3 kids.

anyway, hang in there. the distance you're feeling from your MM will eventually go away and the R will resume.

if it does not, then you will let go of the EMA! you'll have answers soon enough.

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 12:20pm
"WOW LADIES WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME BOAT HERE"

Wow! its so funny how we all go through this guilt trip.. I also had the same thing happen to me well my kids also went back to school and i was thinking the same thing that how can i be with him knowing that my kids are in school... and that maybe i should be home getting lunch ready for them so when they get home...=( Well my i see my MM maybe like 3 days out of the week and we do like breakfast or lunch and of course in those 3 days we use like a day or 2 to like physically be with eachother(Its sooo great) that i just wished that it would not be sooo bad what we are doing together thats when i get this guilt trip but its soooo true what they say that when you get those phone calls saying "I missed you and "Im thinking about you)uffffff that just like melts all your guilt thoughts that you had...Doesn't it???????

i seriously wish that i can like really just block him off and go on with my life and not think about him as much but my gosh now everything i do reminds me of my MM what is there to do??????????

Best luck on getting that guilt trip away i honestly think that we are kinna like stuck with this guilt for a while.

Maru's Baby....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 12:29pm
I think guilt is destroying my EMA, actually. He feels so bad, he's avoiding me now. What do I do during times like that? Do I back off and avoid him too? What would those of you who feel guilty want? I have this instinct that if I call being all goofy, it'll just scare him more, but what you've posted seems to hint otherwise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 4:46pm
BTDT. lol Well, I never

felt guilt until it just

hit me. Nothing out of the

ordinary happened, it just

hit me. And now, I can't

say I feel guilt. I guess

for me it comes and goes

in little waves. So far

I've only had a little

wave of guilt... It's gone

quick. I hope you're okay

and that you can deal with

all this. It's hard, but I

know you can do it:) ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 7:53pm
Have to agree with gurl on this one... throughout my EMA I have very rarely had any feelings of guilt... except the day my little girl was born. It really was a very special day... DH and I had brought this beautiful baby into our lives and I wondered how I could possible be having an affair.

Every day I was in hospital I cried whenever DH left to go to work or home... I wanted him to be right there with me... but work called and our son needed his Daddy.

Once home and back in contact with MM... all those feelings went out the door... I still felt a strong emotional connection of wanting DH... but I knew that I still wanted MM.

As gurl said... when you start contact again... it will either be there or it won't... and you'll know what you need to do.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 09-04-2003 - 11:22pm
Thanks (as always) ladies. The guilt did pass and turned into really MISSING him for the first time today. The highs are high and the lows are LOW!! I know deep down this A will not last, but I am still in it for now.