The guilt of not feeling guilty
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The guilt of not feeling guilty
| Wed, 05-12-2004 - 1:41pm |
Does anyone else feel like that. I really like that term "the guilt of not feeling guilty". I feel guilty for not feeling as guilty as I think I should. I am so happy all the time. This morning MM showed up for a little morning rendezvous before work, and it was a total surprise. We usually plan those days, but I loved being surprised!!! He's the best!!!! I know how wrong all of this is, but he just makes it feel so right!!!!

The guilt will come when he cancels, changes plans, becomes indifferent, disappears for a few days, doesn't answer your email, doesn't call back in a timely manner, whatever! This is when you will feel stupid, angry, used, and yes; even guilty to a degree. Usually it's directed at yourself because that's who are deceiving the most.
I dunno. Who knows where this is leading. Things aren't so great right now, I'm afraid. DH and I started marital therapy and I am committed to putting 100% into our relationship. I'm also, however, committed to letting the EMA take me wherever it leads. MM is a little distant right now, though. Not sure what that's about. But whatever. We'll see.
Sorry for the ramble. KC
Maybe there is something missing in me, but there is no feeling of guilt. I gave the M my all for 20 years. Now it's my turn for a little happiness.
Hope that answers your question
I feel exactly like you re: marriage. ( however I am trying to work on it- athough I really don't have my heart into it). Wish my R was like yours.
You lucky gal!
And for the guilt part- well, I had lunch with MM two days after my H found out and asked me not to see MM again. Did I feel guilty about this. NO.
drive at all. My MM and I have been together 6 months, and
made love for the first time this week, all the way.
Guilty? NO I now realize I am sensual, beautiful and feel
like a women again. I am happy, there are of course
the ups and downs, but then there are ups and downs in marriage
also.
I am happy and feel fulfilled for the first time in many,
many years.
I think also having no children on both sides does help, we both
do not have that stress. Each of our married partners are not
interested in the sex area, and it is nice to have someone
want to please you and you please them.
Bunny
I felt so much joy for you when I read that you and MM made love. I think that's wonderful! It let me fantasize, falsely unfortunately, that my MM and I (MW) would someday get to that point.
I am so happy for you. You must be floating.
Cheers!
V.