Gurlfriend or anyone else, need advice!
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| Fri, 01-16-2004 - 10:39am |
Here is my story, sorry if it is too long.
I have been married for almost 11 years and have a 10 year old D. Things have never been great in my marriage, married too young etc. but they have actually gotten better over the last couple of years. May 2003, I was at a party. H left early and his best friend was still there. No big deal this has happened a million times we all have mutual friends. I have known his best friend for over for 12 years, talked him through a divorce and many other problems. Never been anything else other than friends. Well, we ended up together that night. I chalked it up to a mistake, we drank a little too much etc..
Since then it has become a full-blown A. He has felt things for me for a long time, which I had never known. I can’t believe the random things that he remembered about me and how in tune he is to my emotions and feelings. I know that I have let myself fall in love with him. Pretty stupid of me! We both know that we feel more for each other than just sex. I have told him and he has told me. Usually once we talk about our feelings for each other one of us ends up pulling back, probaly because we both know that we can never be anything other than a secret. Too many people would get hurt. We are practically family, he is my D’s godfather, and his brother is married to my sister etc… Very messy situation.
Here is my question. How can I keep this all in perspective? We see each other all the time in social situations, usually once a week. It is getting harder and harder for me. OM is single so naturally if we are out he talks to women. I don’t want to give up OM, it is amazing when we are together, I can tell him anything and the sex is great, but if I can’t control my emotions and feelings of jealousy, I am going to have to end it. How do I keep myself in line? You seem to be able to accept you’re A for what it is. On top of it no matter what happens we are going to have to find a way to stay friends due to our situation. Too many questions would be raised if we all of a sudden hated each other! Any advice that you can give me would be appreciated!

I'm sure gurl will be around soon. I can't really help you with this as I'm not in this kind of situation, but my God, be careful. I learned a long time ago to hold no judgment in these kind of situations...but wow, you have the potential to DEEPLY and permanently scar your H. You may want to seriously consider ending this thing fast.
Let's see what gurl has to say...
Good luck,
Charlotte
gurl
Edited 4/7/2004 9:28 am ET ET by gurlfriend50
Edited 4/7/2004 9:29 am ET ET by gurlfriend50
Of course it was a vote of confidence!!
You ARE strong!! And you ALWAYS crack me up!
Charlotte
How long have you been in your A for? I am sure that you have posted this before but how did yours start.
I do honestly believe that no matter what OM and I have to be friend or at least learn to co-exist. Even if H and I ever got a D, as long as my sister is married to OM's brother he will be at any family function that I attend. I can't blow off everything. My sister also is pregnant and they have asked OM and I to be the godparents of their unborn child. There are times that we will be brought together because of this child as well.
I just need to figure my head out so that if I need to end things I can do it before they get ugly.
Thanks for the advice and Have a good weekend!