Gutted

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Gutted
27
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:23pm
Received an email from MM today. The subject said: Do not delete-please read.

I should have deleted it. In it he said, "I'm sure you feel better by ending things, but it ended after we met in the hotel room. You see for me, it was all about the hunt. Guys don't need "friends" we have buddies we golf with, drink with, play cards with. Women serve one or two purposes, to have our kids, clean our houses, and for sex. Women outside of marriage are for hunting. Once they are bagged, the hunt is over and we move on. Our wives are too focused on being the perfect little wife to no whats going on. So we have the best of both worlds. Merry Christmas"

Yes, it was a spitful email, but it hurt like hell. I believe all the lies, how could I have been SO stupid? I must have been from seeking outside of marriage I didn't have; friendship and love.

Feeling like life isn't so grand about now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:28pm
Now he wants you to be a punchbag?
Avatar for nomoreregrets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:30pm
Life, He sounds like a real prick and he doesn't deserve to be on the same earth as you or any other woman. I'm sorry; you've had to go through this! Dare him to be closed in a room with all of us girls and lets just see who will be the servant. Trust me I have a feeling he would be the coward that he is and beg for his life. What a frigid Coward! I hope you feel better soon and please don't let him get to you. GOD, I'm so pissed! Let me at him, please........NMR
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 2:54pm
Life, that e-mail sucks, I feel so badly for you. But you know he is hurt because YOU broke up with HIM. Aren't you glad?! What a jerk! That e-mail was full of words to hurt you because you hurt his ego, they may or may not all be truly how he feels. AND, if he felt like a chase he chased YOU! You must have had something exciting he was willing to chase after. Be mad at him, that will help the hurt to go away. Enjoy the holidays, your good health, and all the other wonderful things in your life. Life is grand! Don't feel that it is not! Remember, we are here for you and you are not alone. There are many of us, me included, who have been chased and now are not. His e-mail could have been from my SG. Thanks for sharing such a personal thing. PLEASE, take care of yourself and keep us posted, C
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:10pm
I agree with "cowboyguarantee".....He's just mad because his ego got crapped on. What an a$$!! Don't put alot of thought behind his email, because thats what he wants you to do. The energy your waisting on that email...put it to better use on knowing you got the better of him. Keep reminding yourself..that you were the one who ended it, and now you can see why...becauses hes a heartless jerk.

I wish you the best, and time heals all wounds :) (((Hugs))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:14pm
Well, if that isn't the biggest batch of sour grapes ever, I don't know what is! It's SO transparent. Of COURSE he's going to say it was all about the hunt now that you've ended it. His pride is hurting. He may even be believing it a little because it helps him to feel better about having his heart broken. Don't believe a word of it, though. Just use it to help you get over him. It's a shame. Had he not sent that e-mail, he might have left you with some fond memories of your A, but this way you'll never really think back on it happily. That's a lesson all of us should learn. When it's over, it's over, and just let it go. Don't say damaging, hurtful things. Walk away with your head held high.
Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:20pm
You know he doesn't deserve to breathe the same AIR as you do!! But, i am also pretty sure that doesn't ease your pain. Hang in there, you not only deserve, and WILL find, an available man, but you will find an available GOOD man. The one we should all be feeling sorry for is this man's WIFE. She's the one that has to live with this freak with no easy way out!!! YOU will get along just fine sweety and we'll be here whenever you need us!

HUGS

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:20pm
I can understand that his ego was bruised because I ended it. When I did end it, I wasn't ugly, just said I deserve more then this; you're too busy and if one 10 minute phone call a week is too much for you to bear, then it's best we part as friends.

The thing that bothers me is I told him once, that Christmas is such a difficult time of year for me. Both my parents died 10 years ago just before Christmas, so the season is really a stuggle for me. Bearing that in mind, he still chose to send that email.

I picked a failure as a husband, and a failure in a MM. Not a very good track record.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:25pm
You have a point there, after reading that email the first one I did feel sorry for was his wife. This is a woman who gave him two beautiful children, and keeps things going at home while he's traveling. Yet it in the email his words dripped with distain for her, almost as if she was a servent in his home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:33pm
life


Feel good that you made the right decision -- WITHOUT A DOUBT! I know it would definitely be better to leave it as is, but I know I would still be tempted to email him back and thank him for completely justifying your decision.

His ego was bruised, but a mature individual would have handled it with dignity.

And you’ll be fine; you made a mistake -- we all make them!!

Hang in there and DON’T let him ruin your holiday!!!

Charlotte


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
In reply to: life_is_grand
Wed, 12-17-2003 - 3:45pm
Please don't beat yourself up. You can't control the behavior of others. All you can do is take this experience and learn from it. We all are only HUMAN, after all, and it's human nature to fall in love. It's human nature to seek out that which we cannot have. A man who is emotionally distant is a challenge and so, you know what? For us it's a whole lot about the chase as well. Men are just good for sex and giving us babies. I'd say men are good for a whole lot less than women are! If that weren't the case, then why is that statistically men are MUCH more likely to remarry and do so faster after a divorce than women? Hmmm... I think it's MEN who can't live without us, not vice versa. Without us, who would cook their dinners, pay their bills, arrange their social lives, remember their mothers' birthdays, take care of the kids, keep the house straight, make sure their shirts are ironed... The list goes on and on and on.

Don't ever let anyone make you believe you are anything less than a beautiful, wonderful person. There are people in your life who love you. Men, in general, are rats. It's really hard to find a good one, sad to say. Most of them have so much stubborn pride that if they have a single solitary emotion, they hide it so deeply we never even know about it. And that is what makes us women such wonderful creatures. We care. We feel. When someone hurts us, even if we know it's over, we are deeply saddened by it. And we aren't ashamed to let the world know.

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