I'm a MW in an A with a MM, over a year.
Hi Livefortoday74, sometimes realizations like this happen spur of the moment. It's like it just hits you out of no where & you feel this absolute certainty that it's what you must do for yourself. I'm happy for you and wish you all the best on this new journey. It finally hit you what you want & know how to reach your full happiness by leaving your marriage. I'm glad your doing this for you and no one else. Much love to you!
Much peace & Love,
I'm doing this for me because it's the "right" thing to do.... NC since 12/21/12
BK, you know I probably should leave AP first, as I've heard that's the thing to do, but in all honesty, I'm not willing to do that.
livefortoday...it takes a lot of bravery to start looking long and hard at our relationships. It sounds like you have emotionally checked out of your M...I can understand that. A few months ago I was EXACTLY where you are at...That said..I was not willing to give up AP either.(though I did try a couple times. I just realized this was not the time for that as well) I don't know if this is feasible for you or not..but for me..this was the point where I knew I needed some individual counseling. I felt I was too close and unconnected to H (who is emotionally abusive/passive-agressive as well)..and too close and intense with AP. I was trying to figure out what led me to this place so I could heal and develop healthier relationships with all those close to me..myself included.
The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.
I'm not of these people who thinks that one should stay in a marriage, and with an emotionally abusive man at that, at all costs. I think it's so sad that people spend months, if not years in therapy just to have a so-so relationship, when they could be much happier with someone else or alone.
I left an emotionally abusive man and I've never been happier in my life. It was an international divorce, so my son never even gets to see his father (not my choice) and he's not unhappy at all. I have a divorced friend with 3 kids under 9 years old (also an international divorce) who's doing very well. It's not easy, but possible. And while it might be hard in the beginning,