Had a good time today in spite...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Had a good time today in spite...
6
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 7:22pm
Had a good time today with H and his family...went out to eat, did some shopping, very relaxed. Wasn't looking at my phone every 5 min waiting for text messages like before....I realized that with MM, I wouldn't be able to do any of this anymore. First off, he is lazy..doesn't like to run around, would rather sit around watching tv and drinking beer or sitting in the bar on the weekend so he would never "hang" with me on the weekends like H does...second, we wouldn't have family to do things with because he doesn't have much of a family left and what he does he doesn't have much to do with, doesn't hang with friends...the family that I do have are my H's family as I don't have any, so that would all be gone. So, yeah, in spite of the pain and anger I'm feeling, it was a good day. Thanks ladies!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 10:01pm

It's nice to have this update, Julz


Some time and distance


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 10:24pm
Thanks, clarity...I've got a long way to go, but "this time" around is different. I'm hurt and angry, much like the other times this happened, but I feel like I'm taking it easier. It's going to be hard come Monday when I have to see him because for some reason, I cannot get the man out of my heart and stop loving him even though my head knows the truth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 03-07-2009 - 11:09pm

It's going to be hard come Monday when I have to see him because for some reason, I cannot get the man out of my heart and stop loving him even though my head knows the truth.


This is defeatist thinking, Julz.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 12:32am
Oh, I know I will do it, clarity, it's just that I know it's still going to hurt and that's because I do still love him...I'm not going to kid myself. I feel what I feel, but I also know what I know.
YES..I have been reading EAS, more than once a day, just like MAS...this is my support and I cannot go without reading these boards..sometimes 5-6 times a day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 1:50am

You don't have to kid yourself, Julz...I understand that...you


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Sun, 03-08-2009 - 12:41pm
What do I have to do differently? Not let him back in...that's where I went wrong. He came to me and I gave him the benefit of the doubt and trusted that he had really decided what he wanted. The simple solution would be to absolutely, never have to see him again, but, I can't quit a job that I've been with for over 20 years ( and suprisingly stable in this economy!) and I know he's not going to quit, although he told me that both his wife and daughter had been pushing him to do at one time.
No, they're not "ours" to love, but that never stops our hearts from falling in love and the hurt and pain we feel are just as much as the person's name on that piece of paper saying who they "belong" to.