I feel so bad for you HIME. I would think that you are going through so many mixed emotions right now. To save or not save the M...?
If you have had a few DDays before (are they from the same AP?) why do you think that you need to give the M another try? It seems to me that you are wanting subconsiously to get caught and be thrown out so you dont have to make the decision yourself. I completely understand that way of thinking but if you decide to D, it needs to be because you WANT to not because you have no choices left.
You will go around in the same old argument that you have history and family forever if you want to but that will not change the unsatisfying feeling you have in yourself unless you address that particular aspect. Have you tried MC or IC? Do you believe that you can stay M and work it out one more time or after being caught (or confessing in your case) again that you are going to decide once and for all to take the bull by the horns and get on with your life in a way that can make you happy? Is AP M? What if things dont work out with AP- are you prepared to go it alone?
Only you can ultimately decide what you can deal with, remembering that if you have been at this check point before, taking the same horse outta Dodge,taking the same routes and making the same left hand turns will bring always you back into Dodge right where you started.
I feel so bad for you HIME. I would think that you are going through so many mixed emotions right now. To save or not save the M...?
If you have had a few DDays before (are they from the same AP?) why do you think that you need to give the M another try? It seems to me that you are wanting subconsiously to get caught and be thrown out so you dont have to make the decision yourself. I completely understand that way of thinking but if you decide to D, it needs to be because you WANT to not because you have no choices left.
You will go around in the same old argument that you have history and family forever if you want to but that will not change the unsatisfying feeling you have in yourself unless you address that particular aspect. Have you tried MC or IC? Do you believe that you can stay M and work it out one more time or after being caught (or confessing in your case) again that you are going to decide once and for all to take the bull by the horns and get on with your life in a way that can make you happy? Is AP M? What if things dont work out with AP- are you prepared to go it alone?
Only you can ultimately decide what you can deal with, remembering that if you have been at this check point before, taking the same horse outta Dodge,taking the same routes and making the same left hand turns will bring always you back into Dodge right where you started.
I wish you the best of luck.
SB