Had to slap my ap

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Had to slap my ap
23
Sat, 05-22-2010 - 12:39pm

Hi, all


So, we finally met. Had a good time like always however, things got a little ugly. As he was walking me to my car, he seen these two young pretty ladies turn around look at them, look at me and said

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 8:49am

It was a bad reaction, to his comments on the ladies.


Yesterday, when he call he seem to think that I dump him because of what happen. I told him that I was sorry for slapping him. I know that violent never solve anything. I also told him that everyone deserve to be respected and that what I did was horrible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 9:30am

No, I am not back with my exap.. Have not heard from him or seen him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 9:39am

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 4:01pm
Honestly, I don't know how you can use the words "respect" and "affair" in the same sentence, because affairs are in their nature disrespectful. I don't know if he's the one married, you're married or both of you are, but I'm just saying that to get real for one second. That being said, I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want him to ogle other ladies in your presence, but I just think it's unrealistic to expect him to be concerned about how you feel about it. You, yourself say you're his booty call and visa versa. Respect isn't really part of this equation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 7:04pm

We all deserve to be respected regardless of the type of relationship you are in. So, you are saying because I am having affair my ap have permission to treat me whatever way he wants ? So everyone here in this board deserve to be disrespected because we are some way or another cheating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 7:47pm
Of course I'm not saying that because you're in an affair you should be disrespected. What I AM saying, though, is that because of the nature of the relationship (booty call affair), I think that there are certain things that you can't expect of someone, IMHO, and one of them is some sort of "only you" behavior. I mean, when it all boils down, you were jealous, and I just don't think you have the "right" (for lack of a better word) to be jealous under the circumstances. Another way to explain it is to say that the behavior you were angry about is the same behavior you are participating in with him. Not only is he "looking" at you behind his wife's back, he's having sex with you. So how can you expect him to not look at and comment about other women with you? I guess you can expect it, but chances are you won't get it, you know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 10:09am

Her AP is single, so he's not looking at ladystill behind a wife's back.

I think what ladystill is upset about is that he looked and commented about pretty women right when she was there.

It's a complicated issue. Honestly, my H does that, and I actually point out pretty women to him, and if he's asleep on the beach and a good looking lady walks by in a thong I wake him up to enjoy LOL! I would do the same for my OM but we usually don't see pretty women when we're out to lunch. However, I know he would never point one out and comment to me - he's just not like that - no matter what he might be thinking.

You're right sillyme, in that we might not be able to expect the same level of behavior in an affair, but most of us still think we have a right to have our feelings considered, whatever they may be.

And everyone is right that Ladystill shouldn't have slapped her AP, but she has said she's sorry and won't do it again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 11:50am

Thank you Lex for answering the question for me. :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 12:23pm

I go out of my way to see my AP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 1:18pm
I see. I didn't know that her AP is single. But, still, I think that when it comes to affairs, you can want things, but that doesn't mean you'll get them, you know? That's why affairs are so frustrating in many ways. You want things to be like a "real" relationship, yet they aren't.