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|Sun, 11-18-2012 - 7:00pm|
It's been a while but the board is so hard to find anything on and reply to.
I'm still here, still in the A. The "stand still" wasn't more than a week before we met again. I told him to stop fooling himself or me and stop calling it breaks, or a stand still or space. That neither one of us are ready to walk away and by continuing on faking like we are it just adds unneeded stress to what is already stresseful enough.
I've come to realize that I love AP quite a bit, not the same as my husband but my feelings for him run deep. I'm stopped romanticizing things as much (I still catch myself every now and then), if I do I go into a long pep talk to myself.
Everything seems to be going just fine, I'm as happy as I can be. The only thing that drives me nuts is that I live 50 feet away from him and we rarely talk, and I mean talk like what is going on in our lives. My job doesn't let me converse on my cell phone, and we can't talk on FB as his W and the BFF has his passwords to everything. His job has him so busy that he's putting in a load of overtime. Any other time we might have while out in the yard either my H is out or his W is around him. I'll be glad when everything calms back down. I know we both want to actually talk more but right now it's impossible.
At this point, I'm just taking it day by day, enjoying what I have when I have it.