Happiness tied to contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Happiness tied to contact
17
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:50pm
Don't you just hate how your mood is tied to how much contact you have with MM?

When we are together, when we talk, when he messages me, I get happy, like nothing could stop me.

But then when those times go by where we don't talk, when I am sitting on my hands, I feel so sad.

And I'm lucky. I usually receive some sort of contact every day, despite MM having a very hectic schedule.

Sigh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:57pm
I totally agree with you! In fact, I'm sitting here at work in tears because of frustrating lack of contact. MM & I work together and see each other every day, but always with a million people around. Sometimes I think I would almost not see him than see him and not be able to touch him and kiss him. However, there are times when we are technically alone, but he keeps his distance. I know it's because he's concerned about someone walking in on us, but on cranky/moody days like today I can't help but feel like he doesn't want to touch me.

Life was so much easier before this! I'm starting to ask myself if it's worth the additional emotional turmoil!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 6:26am
Dazed -

I really feel for you. Sat at work, in tears because of lack of contact. BTDT too many times - and not so very long ago either. About 10 days ago in fact! I think my happiness levels are totally effected by contact with MM. He brightens my day, makes me feel so wonderful, unlike anyone else. Plus when we're in touch, I know I am still special to him. But when the NC kicks in, I am depressed, shaken, frustrated, start to question everything and over-think. I have been with MM for 3 years - we have been through all kinds of ups and downs and still survived. Yet after all this time, when the NC arrives, it effects me as badly as it did on Day 1. Maybe this is part of the price, the bargain ... they make us feel like teenagers, like we are young again, take us to the highest highs. But with that also comes the lowest lows. But to understand it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Hang in there girl. Only you know what's right for you - in your heart. I know it's awkward because you see him every day at work, but try and stay busy. It's so easy to say that, I know, and so hard to do. But honestly, it really is just about all you can do.

Big HUG!!

Neuro xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 8:52am
Thank you for putting into words my feelings exactly. My moods are directly tied to the contact I have with my MM everyday. I am M also and I know my moods are noticed. I am very very lucky that we speak at least once usually 3-4 times a day and see each other very frequently. Have been together for 1 1/2 yrs now. We do not work together. He is very busy but always makes time for us to be together at least 4-5 times a week if only for an hour each time. We were able to spend last night together. How wonderful to fall asleep holding each other and wake in each others arms. My happy and sad times are so dependent on our contact and how much time we spend together. I know that's not healthy but it is reality. My secretgarden9 please feel free ot email me whenever you wish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:15am
Oh yes!!!! And it drives me crazy. I try to hard to hold onto my emotions and not let things get to me. When the NC is planned (because he's home, etc.) then I'm OK. But when the NC is unexplained I tend to over think everything and I fret that maybe he has suddenly changed his mind about me. I tell myself that I'm being silly, that he has always been honest with me about how he feels and that if his feelings ever change he will let me know. Even though I KNOW I'm being silly, I still can't seem to help myself. I think the bottom line is that I miss him terribly - he's my best friend, my confidante. It is just really hard when we don't get to talk. It helps me to know that he feels the same way. Even though it is a struggle, we feel it is worth it.

GB2

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:32am
It is so hard to try and hold onto emotions...especially when NC is unexplained. I have noticed this as well....even though I'm only about 2.5 months into this w/no physical contact. Me also, when NC is planned - weekends, i don't even really think about it...more just wait for Monday. (I never thought I would look forward to Mondays *smile*)

Now that I'm experiencing the first NC period, whew...I'm really noticing my moods have definitely been impacted and I'm sure others have too. It's like going from Jr. High School giddiness to Adult-hood Blahs. I miss MM too - even if he is just in a meeting and 'away.'

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 9:33am
Your post really made me smile. I feel the same way. Just a quick phone call, IM or email really makes my day. Like you, I feel so sad when I don't hear from him over the weekend - he can't contact me since the computer is in the den where the family watch TV.

But come monday morning, when I log on and see, "Good morning! I missed you over the weekend!" It makes me SO happy!

Crazy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 10:40am
I have been thinking about the mood swings too, lately, and just hate them! Before the A, my moods were really very constant. Now, it is just like being back in high school or college!! I keep telling myself that I will just enjoy this for what it is, and give and take what I can to it, and NOT let my emotions get out of control, but despite my best intentions they do. My MM lives over 5 hours away, so our time together is limited to once a month on average. We email every day, but his job is very fast paced and he may getted called out of the office or out of town at a moments notice. So, every time there is unexplained NC, sometimes for several days, I get all moody and pitiful, even though there is usually a good reason. I just hate that, and don't want to let someone else completely control how I feel! I'm hoping that the longer I am in this thing (only been 4 months), the more balance I will be able to maintain. Frustrating, isn't it!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:40am


I am new here but I totally agree. My MM lives 5 minutes away, our sons are best friends, and we work for the same company, although he is in a different area than me now. I saw him last Tuesday AND the Friday before so maybe I was spoiled for a while there but I haven't been able to see him since. We spoke on the phone because my son spent Thurs and Fri nights at his house. Those convo's had sexy undertones but that is all I've had from him despite leaving a voicemail yesterday morning on his cell. Last Wednesday I was happy, today I am depressed and getting worse as time goes by without a word from him. We dont' email (too risky his email goes to work and home)don't leave sexy voicemail (once mine was intercepted by another co worker) so the only contact we have is the cell when we can talk. It would be nice to get an email from him saying he missed me! He won't leave any text or voicemail either for fear of it being seen.

Sigh, I won't call him either now, I have to have SOME power!

DeeDee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:48am
I feel the same way as you. I usually get e-mails every day and

see eath other when we can, if I do not receive one I am sad

the whole day. He comsumes me. I get happy, mad, frustrated,

then I hear from him, and I am another person.

I wish this passion, lust, or whatever this is that is

happening to me would just leave..but then I do not want

it to leave. I am so confused, just as you seem to be.

All my support, we all need each other...after all who better

understands what we are going thru than we?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:53am
I am feeling just as you. I look forward to Mondays as well.

At least most of the time during the work week we can e-mail

each other. We have touched.....but not all the way...this

is unlike any feeling I have ever had.

I cry almost every nite. It does make me feel better, but

my heart won't stop aching.....

What are all of us going to do? Life is indeed too short, but

a little touch, kiss and hug makes me so happy.

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