Happy update
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Happy update
| Tue, 10-07-2008 - 9:28am |
Well just an update for everyone. I feel really stupid. OM was not mad at me like I thought. He was choosing to be distant due to his feelings he said. So I was very happy about that. I love the way he makes me feel. We actually have a long history together. We have known each other for 8 years. We were discussing some of that history this morning. Which we both don't like to do but tend to get on that subject sometimes. We talk every morning on his way to work. This morning I said "well you are at work and you need to get to work and I am going to let you go now" and he said "no I don't want you to cause I love talking to you and hearing your sweet and sexy voice" and then he says "I want you more and more everyday" I really didn't know what to say. Expect just take it all in and enjoy it. That was really all I could do. So just a happy moment for me right now..knowing that things are fine and could not be better. We have talked alot about where we think this is going to go. He is afraid of our relationship some what due to our history and because of the fact that I am M and he is not. I am afraid because I think I might say something wrong that might push him away. When I told him that he said you would have to have a bulldozer to push me away. So that made me feel better. This has not gone to a PA yet but I know it will. That is something we have also talked about too. Kind of difficult for that to happen when we are so far away. So thanks for the support girls. Good to know I can come here and tell how I feel and everything that is going on with all this.

How often we project our fears into what our AP's are NOT feeling?
I had an AP once, a long time ago, who was pulling away from me, and, when we finally did sit and talk, and I told him I didn't know what I had done to hurt him, he said it was just the opposite, he was really beginning to feel more than the PA we had. He was falling in love with me, and he was afraid of what that would do to his family. It was then that I realized how much of our emotions hurt ourselves when we don't communicate with each other. I still think of that man often, but haven't seen or heard from him in probably 15 years. I wonder if he thinks of me?
My MM now and I have worked our way through the projection of our own emotions, but, there are weekends, or nights, sometimes, still that we have the what if's (amazingly, him, more than me). If I am PMSing, or, too stressed, sometimes he thinks I want to break up with him. But, we always talk about it as soon as we can. In the 8 years that we have been together the only time I thought I might want to break up with him was after we had a discussion about pre-nups.
A very good post mom !
Communication is the key !
AP (XBF) and I have a history too, and we agreed on ground rules before even starting the affair. We agreed on no "what ifs", and total honesty.