This is hard to deal with
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| Fri, 08-22-2003 - 11:22am |
There have been many, many times I have changed plans, even made my dd go somewhere I knew she didn't want to, just to spend time alone with MM. Now, that I have family in town (they have been here for 6 weeks) and can't get away, he's angry. He says that when they come to town, my world stops. His understanding of my situation is "zero".
I really want to lash out at MM, for even saying what he did. BUT!! I know it would not do any good, and would not settle anything. I do want to communicate to him, that I have spent many, many, nights, upon night, home alone, because he couldn't get away from his W. New Year's Eve a year ago, I'm at home taking a bath, getting ready to go out with MM, and he calls me at the very last minute to tell me, he couldn't go, because his W had decided to go to church, knowing that our plans had been in place for months. And, knowing that his sister would have been happy to sit with their dd, BUT NO!!!! he just changed our plans.
I'm mostly venting, but would like suggestions on how to handle this situation.

I'd tell him just what you told us here without the lashing out or venting. You have simply and reasonably explained how you have acted when the shoe is on the other foot and provided a comparison for his actions. Whether he accepts it or not, he needs to hear it and grow up. :-)
Rose
Also, if you are concerned about getting off-track, emotional or confused while trying to tell him this, write it out. Literally, write out word for word what you want/need to get through to him and stick to it. Don't allow any comments, outbursts or other emotional interruptions to disrupt your message. By having it in writing, in your hands as you talk to him, you can refer to it, take a deep breath, and stick to the point. And what he'll also see is a different side of you. Should give him plenty to think about!
-lily