Hard To Move On
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Hard To Move On
| Tue, 04-06-2004 - 10:12pm |
My DH and I have been married for almost 4 years. 3 of those years have been rather tough for us. After our first year of marriage, things went downhill. I worked hard to help provide for the family while my DH went to school. Though he never really put 100% into going. He would always end up back at home playing games on the computer or out with friends. Basically I was taken for granted, neglected, and used. At least that is how I felt. Last year, my DH decided to join the Army. During the time he was away at training, he wrote me lots of letters apologizing about how things were and how he took me for granted. He wanted so much for us to work things out and he promised he would be a better H. During his time away, I met someone through a friend at work. My friend was engaged to him but they broke it off because his ex-fiance came back into his life and wanted him back. So he was a bit confused as to what he wanted to do. After my H's Basic training graduation I went over to my guy friend's house to have dinner and watch a movie. I wasn't expecting anything to happen but we had sex. I think he was trying to forget everything that was going on with his life. And as for me, I wanted to feel needed and wanted. I was expecting my H to be excited and wanting to be with me during his graduation. But all I got was pats on the back and pushed aside when I wanted a kiss. Later in one of his letters, my H told me it was because he had to get used to me again and that I was moving too fast. Which didn't make sense to me since I was his W. Anyways, I am trying to work things out with my H and moving to where he is. However, my mind is always thinking of my guy friend. He gave me something that I will never regret. And he will have a part of me always. My H doesn't know that anything happened while he was gone and I want to keep it that way. I want to move on with my life and move on with him. But its hard to let go the one person that I connected with in more ways than one. There will be nothing more between us than friendship and that one night together. So why am I finding it hard to let go and move on in the direction that I know I need to follow?

Moving is probably the best thing for you. You can focus on your H, (not that I'm one to talk), and then at least if things don't work out in your M, you will know that OM had nothing to do with it.
(Sorry, but you are going to get two opinions from me tonight)
On the other hand, you haven't seen your H in quite some time, and he pushes you away when you try to kiss him. What's with that? He has to get used to you again!!! As opposed to whom? I think I would have a lot of questions myself, which may be another reason why you are finding it so hard to let go of OM.
Maybe you have both just realized that neither one is happy in your current R, and in that case, you have work ahead, or you have another path to follow. However, you must realize, that staying in your M will have to be something you both want!
Red