has anyone else ever had more then one long-term affair at the same time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2013
has anyone else ever had more then one long-term affair at the same time?
4
Mon, 10-28-2013 - 9:33pm

I have been having an affair with MM1 on & off for 5 years some emotional mainly physical & an affair with MM2 for 4 1/2 years mainly emotional with some physical.  I had not realized it had gone on this long until I went away for the weekend with MM1 who brought up that we've been together 5 years in a few weeks. There's obviously something about each MM that I find the need too be okay with being a mistress to both men.MM1 the days & nights in someones arms that I enjoy waking up too. MM2 my best friend who has held my hand and always has been there for me wakes up at 3am to come see me even when it's just to give me a hug and kiss and tell me everything is going to be okay. 

If I could blend the two together it would make the perfect MM , but I can't and I don't know if I am ready to give one up. I don't have any type of rules or agreements with MM1 he doesn't ask and I don't tell. MM2 has one rule that we both agreed on is we always remain friends if we couldn't handle for any reason breaking off the physical & remain friends we couldn't start anything.  Mind you that was 41/2 years ago . 

I knew going in both mens reasons for staying in there marriage & knew what I was getting into when I started. I know at the end of the day which man loves me by his actions and which man I am a escape from mild married life.  Am I the only woman who's found herself in this type of situation? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
I am sending prayers your way. I hope that you are using protection.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2012
I have been in my A for 4.5 years, it has been difficult and challenging to say the least. I think I would encounter a nervous breakdown if I juggled two. What do you hope for from these relationships? Are you married yourself?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2013

I am single , my children are grown and out on their own so it does make things easier then one would expect. Do to the type of contracting I do I can easily explain my call history or a random text if one was to see the others name. 

  every time I tell myself okay you have to make a choice, I list the pro's and con's of both relationships I end up at the same place I don't want to give ethier of them up. MM1 almost moved in with me a few years ago I remember thinking of the conversation I'd have to have with MM2 I could picture the look on his face and feel both our hearts breaking. Well I love MM1 I am in love with MM2. If MM2 could give me the amount of together time I get from MM1 I don't think I would have such a hard time with it. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2013

I know you're looking for experience, which I don't have, but wanted to offer my opinion. 

If you are happy and fulfilled by these relationships, you don't have to pick one. Have fun with both, until one is not fun anymore. You're a grown woman ... Give yourself permission to be happy (if your relationships with these men make you happy) 

Just my two cents ...