Has anyone else not told AP how they feel?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Has anyone else not told AP how they feel?
10
Mon, 08-06-2012 - 11:22pm

I want to let AP know so bad how I feel about him but I just can't do it.  I have a fear that he will want to end it because it's too "close" and than I don't want to give him that control.

 

Anyone else in the same situation?  How are you dealing with it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Not necessarly I love you, just even that you care alot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
My question is this, If you can't be your true self, what is the point of the R? I always laid it out on the line for my AP, he either accepted me or he could leave.
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011

Yes and no.  I've hinted, I've told AP#1 that I care about him as a friend and I want him to be happy, etc.  But as far as telling him how I really feel... no.  And he's never even hinted about how he feels about me - which is why I keep my feelings about him to myself.   And we seem to get along better because of it although I would give my left arm to know how he felt about me, even to know he feels nothing for me.  

AP#2, though, he told me almost immediately how he felt about me and then - he stopped.  And it frustrates me to no end!  He told me he was in love with me, and blah blah blah.  I was shocked, I didn't know what to do or say, it was so sudden, so soon, so unexpected and I didn't want to let myself go there, but I did and I poured my heart out to him in return.  And then he said, WHOA, back up, did I just say that out loud type thing.  And he's never brought it up since and our conversations have been chilly at best, awkward even.  

Why did he pour his heart out to me like that and now he gets upset at the mere hint of feelings?     It's turning me into an emotional wreck, I want to be done, I want to walk away, I can't take it anymore.  

I say - keep the feelings out of it.   The heartbreak isn't worth the pain.   Never give your heart to someone who doesn't deserve to have it.   Don't let him have control.  But I also understand all too well that desire to tell them.  To know.  

 I read a quote this morning on my homepage:  To fall in love is awfully simple.  To fall out of love is simply awful.  

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2012
Yes part of me would rather tell him and have him walk away, another part says hell no because this is like an addiction, he's so hard to quit, than a final part says no because I don't want to give him control.

I asked about a month ago if we had gone beyond just sex and his first response was "I don't know" and the second was "it is what it is.". Well that's just great there honey, problem is we both know it's not just sex anymore and we both can't define what it is.