Has anyone ever been caught? If so, how?
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Has anyone ever been caught? If so, how?
| Mon, 01-05-2004 - 11:09am |
Hi everyone, I'm new to this. I've been married for 4years but with my H for 8. About a month ago I somehow ended up having sex with a co-worker. I know this sounds so cliche, but it was totally unplanned and sort of just happened. Later on I thought, "Did that really happen?" Well, I am pretty sure I'm going to do it again (as horrible as that may be). My husband is a good man, a wonderful father and really doesn't deserve this. I'm so confused, I have no idea why I'm doing this and risking my marriage to sleep with a man I don't really even care about, but I am.
Anyways, at this point I'm most concerned about getting caught. OM is someone I work with that's about 20 years older than me. My H would NEVER suspect him, but I have heard "these things always come out, you will get caught" and I'm just wondering how realistic that is. Has anyone gotten caught? If so, how did you get caught.
Thanks again for your input,
BadGirl

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Jen
cl-liberalgirl
callmeliberal@hotmail.com
Hi badgirl,
Yes... I've been caught out in my affair... it was about 10 months into it and with many problems in my marriage I had distanced myself from DH.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
Yes people get found out everyday it happens
You need to define way you are doing this , and why with a much older man.
You should consider Indiviual Consuling to determine what is going on in your head.
If you do not know why your doing it you should not do it you may live to regret it.
TRYING
MM and I only get together usually during workday afternoons and limit our contact to workdays usually too. Its a very rare occasion that we contact each other on a weekend and we've only ever gotten together on one evening rendezvous. So I don't feel nervous/guilty during our get togethers, my H doesn't question me about my workdays.
I don't think MM is worried about being caught either, because he told me once before that he thought his W would divorce him if she ever found out he was having an A, and I know he doesn't want to lose his family life. I'm sure he would drop me like a hot potato if he thought she suspected anything!!
The only time I did feel nervous was the one evening we got together, I was just worried in case H tried calling home or left work early and then I come rushing in with pink cheeks and all excited. I would never be able to hide that, I don't have a poker face!!
Anyways, bottom line is BE CAREFUL IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET CAUGHT. If you take precautions, hopefully you will be okay.
Dusty
Edited 1/11/2004 7:48:59 PM ET by femnhiding
Just got thru typing a long paragraph and it got erased. Here goes again. Always make sure that what you're doing is worth the risk. For me it was and sometimes I wonder if subconsciously I wanted to get caught because I had some very close calls. MM's W calling my private home number on a Sunday evening while me and H are watching TV around 10ish. It's a good thing I answered bc she was asking why this number was on her bill so much. MM usually calls my home office but for a while he was calling both bc I had surgery and was near the home line. Another time MM's W overheard me talking seductively to MM (she was eavesdropping). Another time my H read my journal which was talking about MM, thank goodness I was vague in my writings, but he read thru the lines and asked me if he ever hurt me. I guess I was really mad at the time. Another time he read emails to others on line about oral sex w/ MMs. H asked who was MM. I told him I's just playing around. Another time he came right out (while in bed) and asked me if I had ever had sex w/ ***, actually naming MM. And yet another time he said that even tho he didn't have proof he knows deep inside him that I've been f*** around w/ ***, again naming him.
It's weird because I never felt guilty even tho I feel that I should have. Anyway, as unwritten (& written) rule in all EMAs is deny, deny, deny. And yes, there are some things you take to your grave with you and this is one of them. People just don't understand what it is we go thru and think all women having As are hoogies. We're not but you can't tell them that.
Luvin
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