Has anyone ever been caught? If so, how?
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Has anyone ever been caught? If so, how?
| Mon, 01-05-2004 - 11:09am |
Hi everyone, I'm new to this. I've been married for 4years but with my H for 8. About a month ago I somehow ended up having sex with a co-worker. I know this sounds so cliche, but it was totally unplanned and sort of just happened. Later on I thought, "Did that really happen?" Well, I am pretty sure I'm going to do it again (as horrible as that may be). My husband is a good man, a wonderful father and really doesn't deserve this. I'm so confused, I have no idea why I'm doing this and risking my marriage to sleep with a man I don't really even care about, but I am.
Anyways, at this point I'm most concerned about getting caught. OM is someone I work with that's about 20 years older than me. My H would NEVER suspect him, but I have heard "these things always come out, you will get caught" and I'm just wondering how realistic that is. Has anyone gotten caught? If so, how did you get caught.
Thanks again for your input,
BadGirl

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Sorry for the pickle you're in. It may be good to give yourself some space and see what led you to have an EMA in the first place. The sad part is that it seems when EMAs are discovered it's always TOW's fault and TOW is the one that seems to get hurt the most. The DH leaves and TOW's MM pulls back and TOW is labeled as a whore and homewrecker. No, you are NOT a hoogie. Don't know your whole story but it sounds like you have feelings for two men, plain and simple. It just so happens that one of them happens to be married. Maybe it is time to put some space between you and DH, esp. since you still want to see MM. I don't understand how people think that you can just turn your feelings off just like a light switch. MM is laying low trying to keep his W and M intact and it's the price one pays for being in an EMA, the risk of getting caught and everything coming to a very abrupt end. Have you read any of the articles at gloryb.com. They are interesting and include studies on EMAs and why they happen, who is TOW, etc.
I think I subconsciously wanted to get busted and I'm glad it didn't happen. Things are better now w/ DH and I decided to really give it my all, seems I've put so much energy into the EMA and I need to direct even a fraction of it to my marriage, before I throw in the towel.
Hugs
Luvin
But the hardest way to hide it, unless you're a great actress, is in your behavior. You're going to have mood swings and moments where you're distant, no matter how much in control you think you are. Unless your H is really naive, he's going to start getting suspicious. Just cover your tracks well and do your best, but just by entering into an EMA you're already putting your marriage and life as you know it on the line.
I had to laugh at this one because it reminds me of that movie "The Good Girl." Jennifer Aniston was having an affair and her H's best friend saw her at a hotel, so he forced her to sleep with him, telling her if she didn't he'd tell her H about it. Hope it doesn't come to that for you. :-)
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