I could never amagine hurting my ap wife like that by telling her. There is nothing to gain except adding pain to some ones life who does not deserve that.
I would never, ever, ever do that. I wouldn't want to hurt someone so terribly and I know *I* wouldn't want someone to hurt me like that. I know that having an A end is heartbreaking, but getting revenge isn't going to solve anything. It really won't. In all honesty, it's probably going to make EVERYTHING that much worse.
I do think there is a situation when an AP's spouse should be informed but this is not one of them. I think the spouse of an married AP has a right to contact the other's AP to expose the affair in an effort to stop it. I don't think an AP should ever contact a spouse. Telling a spouse for revenge is just wrong. We are all adults and understand the situation when we get involved with married folks.
Who said anything about a God given right? The spouse of a married AP is doing what he/she feels is necessary to STOP the affair and restore his/her marriage.
Two married spouses putting pressure to STOP the affair is better than one. If no contact is already established, then yes, I don't see a reason to contact.
Sorry to hear about that. Violence can be result of an affair. Lot of emotions. People kill people over there husband/wife/lover. That is a risk everyone takes when in an affair relationship.
Not to sound cold but.... I'm sure the affair was over after that incident. That was my only point. Sometimes, the AP spouse must be informed to STOP the affair. Exposure can work to STOP an affair. Not for revenge purposes.
One marriage survived the affair, one didn't. It has been said that most don't survive an affair. So this situation, 50%, is beating the odds. Again, not trying to sound cold. These are people's lives, families, etc. But it is really the affair that caused the issue not the discovery of the affair.
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I would never, ever, ever do that. I wouldn't want to hurt someone so terribly and I know *I* wouldn't want someone to hurt me like that. I know that having an A end is heartbreaking, but getting revenge isn't going to solve anything. It really won't. In all honesty, it's probably going to make EVERYTHING that much worse.
I dont believe it's the OW/OM's place to inform the spouse of the AP.
Goddessautumn,
Who said anything about a God given right? The spouse of a married AP is doing what he/she feels is necessary to STOP the affair and restore his/her marriage.
Two married spouses putting pressure to STOP the affair is better than one. If no contact is already established, then yes, I don't see a reason to contact.
Edited 3/23/2009 11:23 am ET by hopefull1996
Bad idea all around.
Sorry to hear about that. Violence can be result of an affair. Lot of emotions. People kill people over there husband/wife/lover. That is a risk everyone takes when in an affair relationship.
Not to sound cold but.... I'm sure the affair was over after that incident. That was my only point. Sometimes, the AP spouse must be informed to STOP the affair. Exposure can work to STOP an affair. Not for revenge purposes.
One marriage survived the affair, one didn't. It has been said that most don't survive an affair. So this situation, 50%, is beating the odds. Again, not trying to sound cold. These are people's lives, families, etc. But it is really the affair that caused the issue not the discovery of the affair.
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