Has anyone ever thought of this
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Has anyone ever thought of this
| Fri, 09-05-2003 - 10:28am |
I know right now we feel pretty comfortable with the realtionship we have with MM, MW, OM, OW. What happens "IF" things take a turn for the worst. "IF" there is a bad breakup, things get ugly. I know you can't speak for the other party. What "IF" they try to do you harm, or be revengful, or hurt you. Meaning if they get mad, because of the breakup, and tell your spouse, and actually have the proof, that there was an EMA. Sometimes these breakups get out of hand. Do you have any damage control in place?
Have you thought about how you would protect yourself?

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You post made be laugh. Sorry to be rude, I know you asked a valid question. I would think mostly we TRUST the other person not to seek revenge or be vindictive after the affairs end, since we trust them to keep mum when the affair is still going on. But who know for sure? Anything can happen. If you are smart like some, who cover their tracks paranoidly maybe then you can say you are damage-proof in the post affair scenario. If you are smart enough maybe you will do the same and cover up every little thing you did and said with out a trace. Good question, food for thought.
Charm
You may burn me, but you won't burn me twice. I just wondered if anybody else had the thoughts of things going bad.
Here's what happened to me. Last year when MM was seperated from his W, MM had given me a key to his apartment. His W was driving through the complex, being nosy, and saw me come out of his apartment. MM, and I had gotten caught in our relationship, so she knew my name, but had never met me face to face. When she saw me come out of the apartment she, she approached me, and asked if I knew MM. I said yes, allow me to introduce myself and said my name. You could have bought her for a penny, she was so mad. She stormed off, burning rubber all through the complex.
That's when things got ugly. She called my job, tried to get me fired, she talked to my boss, tried to get me fired. She told my friends, and family, that I was a whore. She got my ex-husbands phone number, told him that I was an unfit mother, and she should try to get sole custody of our daughter. All this while MM did nothing. He himself was so afraid of loosing his dd. She threatened to move and not tell MM, where she and his dd was. MM, lied and said that I was chasing him. That he had tried to break it off with me, but I just kept calling him, and that I wouldn't take "NO" for an answer. He made me seem like I was some crazy woman chasing him. And, of course she believed her husband.
Well, if that happens again, I can say otherwise. My MM is afraid of his W. He always has been. He is no help to me, when it comes to her.
In answer to the question, our EMA is based on a trust that should this end, it ends peaceably. I absolutely trust my MM to uphold that trust.
Good question.
Hugs
RH
Things have changed; we have fallen in love. But the rules haven't...we both fervently hope that this thing between us will last, yet we're both willing to step aside whenever the other needs us to. We are grownups who know what we're doing. This is my first affair, but it's not his. He has played all the parts in an adultery scenario. One of his wives cheated on him. He's dated married women before. And he's cheating on his g/f with me. Although that's kind of a different story because of the unconventional nature of their relationship. They have an open relationship, but he doesn't tell her about me because I am married. He doesn't want her causing problems for me should things go sour between them. If I were single, he'd own up to our relationship to her, but he's protecting me, and in the process, breaking one of the rules they have about dating others, so I take heart from that.
So, we're like you guys...this relationship is all about trust. Shoot, I trust him more than I do H.
Lucky
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