Hate feeling this way....
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| Mon, 09-22-2003 - 9:11pm |
I don't get this way too often... thank god! but when I do... I just feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat.
I had a wonderful day with MM last week and now this week... I'm preparing for a week of N/C due to school holidays and him taking time off work to spend with his family. Don't get me wrong... I'm always happy for him when he does this... he works hard so why shouldn't he? in many ways I'm envious that they can do this... getting DH to go anywhere is like pulling teeth.
But with the week off... he's been busy sorting out things at work... and of course is distant... I realise he's just run off his feet and I make sure that I understand... but it still can be hard. I have plenty to keep me busy and I know once today is over... I'll pick up again and more than likely be just fine.
It's times like this I sit and wonder... why??? but then I stop and think that these times are actually few and far inbetween and the good times certainly does outweigh it all.
I know I'm not... but I feel very weak when I reach this point... and it's not a place I really like to be. I like to know my mind and know I'm strong... but then a good cry never hurt anyone.
aaahhhh... just needed to get that out of my system and hopefully get back on track for the day.
if you got this far... thanks for listening...
Sweet

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Hey shouldi,
you hit the nail right on the head... he was working his ass off at the very time I just wanted to soak up as much of him as I could... and I couldn't! it was as simple as that.
I don't know how much he misses me... he will never let on with that... besides where they holiday is his In Laws vacation house and he's usually doing something around the place for his FIL... so it's not all play.
What I do know though... is he's always happy to get back to work... he quite often tells me how... that while the holiday was great... it's alway good to get back to work... I like to think that's partly due to me and being able to talk and such.
I'm feeling much better on yesterday... I know that he's gone... only an hour and a half away... but far enough... and I'm ready to face the world again... without him for now.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
I hope that you are feeling better today! Unforunately, I totally understand what you are going thru. The deeper I get into my EMA (and it has been almost 3 years), the harder it is to tear myself away from him. I was with him today..sigh...what a fantastic morning! I told him that it is just such a drastic change going from being so close to being so business-like within minutes. But we work together so that is part of the bargin.
Just be strong and know that he is thinking of you and that you will make it through. I kind of use the periods of NC to "test" myself. It is almost like..see I can live without this man! I do this because I know that one day that will be my reality.
Good luck and know that we are here for you!
Hugs
RH
When you feel this way, remember that NO relationship is without its difficult periods. Marriage, or an EMA, or whatever... there are always hard times.
The fact that you and this man have been together for a long time should tell you all you need to know about how he feels about you. Hang onto that when it gets hard. It's what matters.
I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner, though I do see a post that says you are feeling better. I'm glad you are, and I'm especially glad you posted for support.
You're right, you are strong! And don't you think a little cry now and then helps you appreciate the good times? If you are experiencing the emotional far end in happiness, giddiness, cloud 9 etc. with MM, then you would experience the opposite end at times - and that means you are living life to the fullest, no?
Now, Sweet - you have handled it. Even if you wanted (or did) cry, you *still* handled it, and coped your way through. Don't ever think you can't handle something, because we almost always do even when it's not in the way as anticipated.
Don't forget to do something special, just for you. And, I hope both your and your MM's schedules are less hectic soon.
Sending you hugs,
Meow
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