Have you confided in any friends...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Have you confided in any friends...
19
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 4:47pm
about your affair?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 4:54pm
Yes, my recent A was explained to my mom and sister. My mom seemed to understand the most. My sister had been involved with a MM, so I thought she would understand. She did, but based on her experience she told me to GET OUT of it. I remember getting mad, but now I know she was only looking out for me. (I really have to find this type of thing out for myself....well, i did. Only I am right back into the same kind of pursuit with someone new....)

Anyway, I decided that the fewer people who know, the better. You never know when the secret info you revealed might be used against you. Anyway, having this support group is a great help....:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 8:10am
Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell. I made the mistake of telling someone about my mm, mm and I are FWOB, but she went and blabbed to someone else who told someone else who told my H. You are better off keeping your own councel, because even if you think you can trust someone, you can't be 100% positive that they won't say something to someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 11:38am
Just you guys and MM.

Trust NOBODY w/that type of info. People cannot keep secrets. One person just HAS to tell their ONE and ONLY trusted friend. That ONE and ONLY trusted friend must tell, and so on and so on until EVERYBODY knows but they're all whispering.

Laugh Smiles

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 12:10pm
MM and i were discussing this very topic yesterday! my two best friends, like my sisters, know everything about the A and MM and let me talk, talk, talk about MM as much as i want. they never judge and both think we will end up together. i don't. too many people to hurt to get there. so MM and i both agreed, once again, to keep the status quo and enjoy every minute we have together! seems to be working.....

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:32pm
I have told one of my closest friends (a guy) about the A, although we don't ever really talk about it. He just knows I'm involved with MM. This friend doesn't live anywhere near me or MM and he doesn't associate with any of the same people that know MM and I. I don't dare tell anyone else (not even my family) and my only support group is right here.

This place is wonderful for sharing all the crazy emotions that go along with an A.

*Hugs* to everyone.

Annika

Brightest Blessings, Annika


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:39pm
a few years ago i told a very dear friend of mind who's been a wonderful person in my life for over 10 years. i've told her everytime we've been on and off. i haven't told her we're back on again. i probably should..she is very supportive of whatever decision i've made.

she says i have the 'grass is greeener' sydrome. i always think there is something better for me out there...can never be happy or fulfilled with what i have. that line always makes me think..how can i ever leave my husband?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:46pm
Besides me and MM obviously, I've told my best friend. I know that I can trust her because she's never said anything to anyone about my secrets.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:48pm
My best friend of 25 years overheard my conversation with my mm when I was talking to him on my cell phone and confesssed to me her affair! I was shocked to say the least. This was about 6 months ago. My mm knows I have told her and is not very happy about it and he claims he hasn't told anyone. He is afraid that she may spill the beans because she is close to my h also. I do worry because when she drinks she tends to run at the mouth a little. I think I am going to tell her I have ended it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:53pm
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fense, seansluv, but just remember, you would still have to mow that grass too. That's probably the best line I've heard in reference to affairs. At least you recognize that you probably wouldn't be happy even if you left your husband. Once the dust settles down, all men become old news, plain and simple. The bottom line is, have you found someone you can grow old with? Someone who is MORE compatible with you then your H? Someone who shares your dreams and aspirations and interests? If so, you've possibly found your soul mate; if not, it's probably just an affair.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 2:32pm
wow lilah..that is a good point. i think how i'm feeling now..i'd have to say it's an affair...with ic..since we are long distance

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